Update - Week 16

Wow, four months pregnant! I read something today about approaching the half way point. This hasn't even really hit me yet. I mean being pregnant has but not the fact that I'm going to have a baby. The pregnancy stuff is all about me me me. But soon the attention will be on little martin jr. or heather jr. I try to imagine what life will be like. I realized that's just impossible. Not so much because it's so different from anything I've ever experienced, although that is true. But because each child is so different. I have no idea the temperament of the child. Like will I be able to take the baby with me to the grocery store? Sure, I see moms at the grocery store with babies in baby carriers strategically positioned on their buggies (shopping carts for you non SWPA-people). But I have no idea if I'll be able to do that. At least at first. And of course that's just one example. Will I be able to sleep? And those are pretty benign questions...what about harder ones like, what if my child has a serious health issue or what if I end up on bed rest? Uncertainty is always a challenge for us planners but it's even more than that when it's such a lifestyle change in one's home life. Like, moving to a new place involves lots of changes (commute, possibly new friends/church/job) but you know that when you come home at night you will still have a similar routine to what you have now. With having kids (I guess this is true for marriage too but I don't think to the same extent) normal routines will change. But uncertain times are always blessings in that they cause us to rely more on God and draw us closer to Him. I'm not even going to pretend to know what I'm doing. It's all going to be God.

Something that will be particularly hard for Martin and me is having to slow down. We put a lot of effort into being efficient and getting things done quickly. Our expectations will have to change a lot now.

Told the STEP folks this week. And some more people at church. I think I can say for sure that I'm feeling better. More energy and not nauseous, but I still can tell I'm pregnant - can't do as much, uncomfortable sitting and laying down, etc. I can tell that I'm feeling better though because I can actually bear to stand on the way home on the metro. Before I was way to queasy/dizzy to stand all the way.

One more week til the next doctors appointment and a week and a half until I tell my boss. I'm starting to get my speech ready.

Walked about 5 miles on Saturday but haven't done much else in the way of exercise this week. :( I really need to start strength training. I bought 2 pregnancy workout tapes on eBay this week so hopefully that will motivate me to get back into a routine.

Gotta give total props to my mom who cleaned our refrigerator, oven, microwave, and shower this past weekend and to both my parents for getting our front and back porches ready for summer with beautiful flowers! That was truely a blessing and a relief to me.

Update - Week 15

Feeling a lot less nauseated this week. Although I'm having a hard time finding food that tastes good to me. At least anything healthy. Make grocery shopping really hard. My cold is gone and I had no excuse not to exercise this week but I didn't. Maybe my body wouldn't feel as tired if I exercised.

Martin and I did go for a hike on Saturday though. I barely made it through. It was supposed to take 2 hours and it took four. I just couldn't get my muscles to move. That was frustrating especially since this is the best time of year weather-wise in DC to be outside and I know how much Martin likes to bike and hike. Plus, he (and I too) feel like we want to do so much BC. If we do anything like that on the weekend them I'm too tired to do the housework I need to do.

I haven't gained any weight yet. I can tell that my stomach is different (protruding outwardly more) but with most clothes I wear you wouldn't be able to tell that I'm pregnant, especially looking at me from the front. At least that's my perception. I could be totally deceiving myself. My boss left for vacation today so I won't be telling him for at least another 11-12 days. I'm thinking on making June 5th my target for telling him. I can't be showing that much more in 2 and a half weeks, right?

Told a few more Harvest people this week. Still have some people I want to tell in person or on the phone and haven't gotten a chance to contact them since we've been so busy. We had/will have had 3 different sets of house guest this week.

Sorry for complaining so much. I need to focus on the positive and fun things. Only 5 more weeks until we find out the gender of the baby! Oh, and my pregnant friend Laura (who has the same doctor as I do) and I scheduled a maturnity ward tour for the 30th! That will be fun. And my brother is coming to visit with my parents this weekend. This is only the 3rd time he's come to DC in the 5 years that I've lived here. Until next week....

Security Clearance

Last night I did my 5th security clearance interview for a friend (I have really trustworthy friends). Anyway, by this time I got the drill down. I could probably even rattle off all the questions they ask. So I made sure to check the guys' ID this time (before I let a stranger into my house). If you've ever done one of these you know they find people with NO personality to do these interviews. Just the facts ma'am. This guy wasn't so bad. He smiled once in a while. He told me I needed to put away my snow shovel that's still propped up in my front entry way. As he was leaving it started raining really hard. Well, he was in such a hurry to get to his car, that he got into my car instead! It was so funny! I'm watching at the window as this guy gets into my car and closes the door before he realizes it's not his own! He was also driving a silver car but I'm pretty sure it was much bigger than mine. I must have left my car door unlock since I was on the phone with Martin when I got home. So much for security.

Update - Week 14

Well, I couldn't tell if the pregnancy sickness has gone away yet because I had a cold most of the week. Stayed home from work on Monday. Feeling better now. I seem to have more of an appetite now which is good.

Martin's been out of town this week which means I've actually had to cook and take the garbage out and get up to get my own glass of water (gasp!). It's been rough but I'm making it through.

This week the baby is the size of my computer mouse, so says a pregnancy website. Looks like the size measurements have gotten away from food (peanut, bean, grape, lime, jumbo shrimp). I kinda liked the food references though. I'm not sure how my computer-moused-size child is fitting in my belly though. I used to be astonished at people who found out they had grapefruit-sized tumors in them without knowing. Like how could you not know? Now I understand.

At Bible Study last night a few of the women were talking about when they first felt their babies. They said that with the first one, you wouldn't recognize the feeling anyway if you did feel it - you'd just think it's gas. So last night I'm lying in bed and I felt this like buzz. So now I'm wondering if that was the baby. Or if I just thought that was the baby because of what they were saying.

Still haven't told work. But did tell Denise and Cara on Sunday and Nancy S. and Denny and Nancy M. on Monday and Dave M. and yesterday.

Poll numbers mean nothing...but boy or girl?

Living in Washington long enough, one gets quite sick of polls. While I don't think it will have any predictive value, I'm going to start one anyway. So, boy or girl? Let me know what you think. We're going to find out the gender if we can at the sonogram at 20 weeks and we'll let y'all know. So you have 6 weeks to get your final answer in. If you've already told me your prediction please vote officially on this post. Like any good poll, I'm going to try to influence your answer: so there hasn't been a girl born to a Etner male in 55 years, heartbeat was over 145bpm which some say indicates a girl, timing of conception would lead one to conclude it is a boy, but apparently the husband eating lots of green leffy veggies could increase the chance of a girl and Martin has been eating a salad everyday for the last year. Have fun!

We heard the heartbeat!!

150 beats per minute. Apparently that's really good. Saw a different doctor this time. He is really really nice and personal. He really took time with us and answered our questions. Also got a better idea of the philosophy of the practice regarding the necessity or lack thereof of screening procedures and birthing. And we got a schedule of the doctors appointments. Everything else was good too. Next appointment is June 2nd.

After the appointment, Martin and I went for a 17.66 mile bike ride! It was great. Slow but great. I wanted a t-shirt that said, I'm three months pregnant, what's your excuse?

Update - Week 13

Well, my sickness didn't magically go away last week, but I guess it's getting better. I feel some more energy this week although I had one or two bad days. Monday I had a headache all day. I think it was dehydration though. Then I threw up my breakfast yesterday but I think that's from my prenatal vitamin. Going to start taking that at night. Weighed myself this week. I lost two pounds. This is the least I've weighed since college. Oh the irony. Not worried, I'm sure the weight gain will come soon enough.

Tomorrow is our next doctor's appointment. I'll write again to let you all know how it went.

This week was more telling people, but we're not done. Told my book club and then Chris P. at church and Melissa S. and the rest of my college friends. Gotta get around to telling the rest of the camp folks and the Winstons!

Talked to my mom about her childbearing experiences. She was in labor with me for 14 hours although she didn't go to the hospital until 7 hours into it. Apparently your mom's experience is a good indicator of what your own will be like. She went natural except for some pitocin to help things along. But with my sis and bro she didn't have any meds. By the third child she didn't even know she was in labor. She had Justin an hour after getting to the hospital. Funny, the way I remember it, we were waiting for HOURS for them to call with the news. Of course, I was only 4, so I guess it seemed like hours to me. Melissa also shared her child birth experiences with me. I'm encouraged by all these 8 hours or less labors. I thought you were lucky if it only took 12 hours.

Man, I can't wait to find out if our baby is a boy or a girl.

Lots of people ask about a nursery. Since we'll probably move next year and we'll have the baby in the room with us for a while, we're not going to decorate the second bedroom too much. But I did have this crib set picked out: Clover fields. Lambs and bunnies. The light green matches the bed spread in the spare bedroom. It's gender neutral. I'll probably still want to buy all the stuff in case we do want to use the borders, etc. one day. I picked this out when my sister showed me what she had picked out last fall. I guess Martin hasn't seen it yet so it still has to go through his approval.

Decided to wait and tell my boss as late as possible - hopefully June.

Well, time to eat my yogurt...until later....

Update - Week 12

So, will this be the "magical" week that the morning sickness goes away? I must say I have been feeling better the last 24 hours. (Change always seems to come on Wednesday.) I'm probably not out of the woods yet. This last week or two I know my eating has gone way down since eating made me feel so bloating and I don't know, I can't explain it. It was just like eating took a lot of me and made me feel sort of a mix between fatiqued and sick. Hopefully I'll get back to eating more this week.

Wow, we told so many people this last week. First Cathy on the way home from STEP tutoring. Then Mike and Brian and Cal and Rochelle and Michelle on Saturday night. Then a ton of people on Sunday morning - my SS class, Danielle, Beth, Cynthia, Kelli, Thomas (who rubbed Martin's belly - that was hilarious!), Betsy, Becky, Natalie, Christian, Rachel and Andrew, Raymond, Don, Jason. Still more people to tell at church. Then I emailed Christine and Kelly and Jen N. and Jill. But I haven't told any of my college friends or camp friends yet. After tonight, things should settle down a bit and I should have more time to call folks.

The first graders in my SS class were funny too - "So this means you're officially married now, huh?"

I've been talking to other moms about natural child birth and breastfeeding and stuff. Gathering info and opinions. That and worrying about how and when and how much to tell my boss fills up most of my thoughts.

Anyway, that's what's going on. Feel free to leave comments.

Update - Week 11

Wow, week 11. I can't believe my first trimester is almost over. This week was fun as we told a lot of people - Martin's family (that's 8 people), Amy, Gruver, Josh & Catherine, Kathryn, and Darrell.

I'm still feeling kind of the same. I've noticed that if I'm moving around and doing stuff I don't get as nauseous. But I don't eat as much then either.

It's funny when people ask how I've been feeling. I usually say, oh, not too bad. If Martin's there he gives me strange looks - like "that's not what you were saying last night when you came home from work laid on the couch with a pint of ice cream and told me you were sick of being pregnant already and you couldn't move because you felt so sick." They say that labor is similar. You forget all the bad stuff. Grad school was that way for me. But I think relatively I'm not sick as some women I know of. It's more of this semi-constant annoyance.

Looking forward to staying home this weekend and telling people at church. Praise God that Martin has been really good with doing housework. Hoping to catch up on some myself this weekend. I went to the gym this morning so hopefully that means I'll have more energy today.

Oh, I got my promotion - I'll be a 14 on April 30th. So I'll see the raise in my May 22nd pay. And my office moved. My window looks out onto the tourist entrance of the WH. Lots of trees too. I have to share the space with a guy but he's pretty quiet. I have more room now and a built-in book shelf. And we're on the same floor as the snack bar that just started selling non-fat smoothies!!!

Update - Week 10

Physical/how I'm feeling update: mood swings and bloating.

Mood Swings. This weekend when we were at my parents, I balled through an entire movie. The movie was Jersey Girl. Not the best movie to watch when pregnant. I didn't even see the beginning when the mom dies. Martin turned the channel because he smartly didn't think two pregnant women should watch that. I cried throughout the rest of the movie though because I think I really identified with the Ben Affleck character. His whole life changed after his child was born and had anxiety over that. So it's still an issue with me apparently. But then I also almost cried at the WalMart hearing I went to when I heard of a missing child being found because of a poster in a WalMart and then I almost cried on the elipse this morning when I was watching a news report about 9/11. All I heard was "let's roll" and I got choked up.

Bloating. So I got a weekly email from on of the websites I'm signed up on that said this week you'll probably be experiencing mood swings and bloating. I guess it's nice to be normal. I haven't felt like eating much all week. It's really a chore to eat. One it takes me so long. Two, I can't find anything that sounds appetizing. So why the bloating? Here's the explanation from babycenter.com: You may be feeling extra gassy or bloated now, too. That's primarily because the major doses of progesterone your body produces early in pregnancy relax smooth muscle tissue throughout your body, and that includes your gastrointestinal tract. This relaxation slows your digestive processes, which can cause more gas, bloating, burping, flatulence, and generally miserable sensations in your gut, especially after a big meal.

This week we told a lot of people about our bun in the oven. My family on Saturday, Jen K. and Jen and Rich on Sunday, Laura and Dan on Monday. It's been fun. We've tried to come up with creative ways. They've mostly been pretty lame but it's fun. Going to try to get a hold of Larissa and Melissa and tell the rest of the Bible Study this week and then we tell Martin's family and Amy this weekend.

Oh, my promotion job was finally posted this week. I got my application in yesterday. It closes on Friday. So hopefully by the end of the month I'll be a 14 and making more than Martin :) We always joked that's when we would have kids!

Update - Week 9

Today I'm nine weeks pregnant. I've been feeling a lot better this last week. Not as much nausea. Or maybe I just learned out to deal with it better by keeping food in my stomach. I did throw up twice last week though but I think I was just eating too quickly. My stomach seems to get full really quickly although I still feel hungry. So it's taking me a long time to eat my meals.

The bike ride on Saturday went great. Although for the next three days I was pretty tired. Only been to the gym once this week.

So I spilled the beans last night at Bible Study because two other gals were announcing their pregnancies to the group. I'm so glad I can talk about it now. And Saturday's the day we tell my family. I was afraid my sister was going to be upset (Jan Brady feeling...you, know "everything's Marsha, Marsha, Marsha/Heather, Heather, Heather") but I think that she'll be glad to be sharing being on my mom's "worry list" now. But it's following my sister's and my usual pattern - Carrie announced to my parents that she was getting married in 39 days, the day after Martin's and my wedding. Carrie's due in July. Martin and I be going down around that time to see the baby and hopefully snag some maturnity clothes from Carrie too. :)

Update - Week 8

So, week 8. Not much to report. Still feeling nasea but less today. Yesterday I did throw up for the first time but it wasn't much. I keep reading about much exercise and nutrition are important. For the baby's health, for a safe delivery, for my health. I've been keeping track of what I eat every day. I see tangibly how I consume empty calories. I seem to be consume less fat than is recommended (by some website so take it for what it's worth). I know not to take that as a free pass to desserts but its still hard. I decided to eat healthy fats - grapes, (maybe some cheese to get calcium), and peanuts! But I think to get back up to where I should be on the fat level, they suggest probably about half the peanut butter I consumed today with my saltines and banana. Moderation....always a lessen.

My energy level has been good. I think the only time I was really tired was that first weekend I found out I was pregnant - remember, Mom, the weekend you guys were here visiting and I barely made it through the spy museum? Martin and I plan to do a 28 mile hilly bike ride on Saturday (his birthday fun day). We'll see how that goes. Maybe that will excuse me from the Sunday afternoon tennis.

Basically, I'm just really looking forward to telling people. I feel like I've being fake. Plus, I want to talk about it. I want it to be real. 9 more days....

Although I'm dreading telling my boss. He just gave me a promotion and went through a bunch of trouble to do so. Now I'm going to be like see ya, I'm going on maturity leave for 3 months (starting when you usually take your big vacation) and then I'm only coming back to work half time or not at all. Still haven't decided that yet. But at least most of my maturnity leave will be over the holidays.

My Awesome Husband

Martin is so cute. He's really into my nutrition at this stage in the pregnancy. He just called me from the grocery store to ask me if catfish and tilapia were okay for me to eat. (Yes, he cooks and does the grocery shopping most of the time.) He also wanted to check out the new scale that we got to make sure it was okay for pregnant women to use - its one that does the body fat percentage and thus shoots electrode through your body. I had already checked that out though - yes, it's okay to use. Martin's really looking out for me and the baby. What a good husband and father!

Chirping Birds and Counting Crows

Okay, this is just funny/ironic. I just got annoyed with the birds chirping birds outside my window with the awesome view so I decided to listen to a CD while working. My choice of bands....counting crows! I exchange one set of birds for another. I'll let you debate which is better.

I will leaving my office with a door and a window with an awesome view of the White House, Treasury, Washington Monument, Reagan National Airport, and the Jefferson Memorial for a shared office with a window that looks out on the the alley between the WH and Treasury sometime next month. My only consolation is that that birds probably won't follow.

Update - Week 7

Sorry for not updating earlier....

I started feeling a little nausea last week. Usually about the time I'm ready to eat. Eating usually helps. I haven't thrown up yet and only dry heaved once when I smelled something in the fridge that had gone bad. My sense of smell is really heighted these days. I haven't gained any weight (yea!) yet. I'm hoping to only gain 25 lbs. since I'm 15 lbs. overweight to begin with.

This week was our first doctor's appointment. Saw Dr. Fisk. He confirmed the pregnancy and did a pap test (with Martin in the room - what a shocker for him!). I also got a perscription for prenatal vitamins.

Can't tell by looking at me...thank goodness since we're not telling anyone for 2 more weeks and I'm hoping not to tell my boss until May. Hopefully I can hide it until then. A very tall and skinny women who used to work in my office hid her pregnancy until she had the baby. Don't think that or work for me.

I'm starting to have some discomfort in my ususal sitting (i.e., slouching with feet up) position at work. That stinks. Otherwise, things are going pretty well.

Oh, the doctor usually delivers at Fair Oaks. That's okay. They have a new facility and I heard it's nice. We're really close to Fairfax though. But we can go there for some of the classes. I'm still trying to find out what our insurance covers. I'm hoping they cover a session with a lactation consultant but I doubt it.

Most of my research/time thinking now is on eating right. Catherine G. said in a blog of hers recently that she got info from babyfit.com. I was there two seconds later. I've tracked my food on there ever since. They also have lots of good exercises. Trying to figure out what to eat and what not to is a big job. Lots of controversy out there too. When we were at Mrs. Kennedy's memorial service reception on Wednesday, I accidentaly picked up a roast beef sandwich that was too bloody for me to eat. I had to switch sandwiches with Martin. He got to share in some of my sacrifice for the baby...:)

Only in DC....

I was just thinking that our child will Lord willing turn 18 right around the presidential election of 2024. So having him/her a few days early could turn out to be a big deal. I found out that Election Day 2024 is November 5. So he/she would have to be born (on or?) before November 5th of this year to vote in the 2024 presidential election. I wonder who will be running in 2024....

Update - Week 5

So today I'm five weeks pregnant. It's still hard to believe although I find it also hard to believe that some women don't ever realize they are pregnant. I haven't had any morning sickness yet but I have had some weird feelings that I've never had before in my belly.

Emotionally, I'm doing okay. Not crying anymore. Martin helped with that. Just seeing his excitement and talking about the fun things. We often would stay stuff like "look at all the stuff in our back seat, what are we going to do when we have kids." Now it's "what are we going to do when the baby arrives?!"

This week though, I think my attitude has been well, I can still do all that stuff I wanted to do. My current thinking is that I'll go back to work part-time if my boss is okay with that. So then do that for 2 years until #2 comes along and then not work, at least not downtown. Then I was trying to figure out how I can do a century (100-mile bike trip) before I get "too" pregnant. Doesn't look like the dates are going to work out for the easy one, so I may to a harder metric century in May. Or not. I'm probably be totally unrealistic.

I think I felt like literally my life (i.e. all the good and purposeful things that I do now) will end when the baby arrives. No work, no tutoring, no fun outdoors, etc. I guess I had just heard from a lot of parents lately, "oh, yeah, we used to do that before...." But my do-it-all attitude is not just going to go away. I need to be realistic and know that I can't do everything as I am doing now but maybe it's just different, but equally active and meaningful, things. I am inspired by my friends who have kids and still have a life - Ted and Krista and Tor and Linda (who even breastfed her children for a long time)! I can't wait to talk to them about this.

But I need to remember too that what can be more good and purposeful than raising a child?! I am gaining so much by that. God is calling me (obviously) to be a mother. Uh, mom. I think I like that word better. Mother conveys much more wisdom than I have. Plus, there are a lot of things that will remain or even be enhanced in my life - my marriage, my friends, my relationship with God, my gifts that I can use to serve, my financial education volunteering. I'll be able to read more.

Speaking of lack of wisdom, I feel so much less unprepared for this than marriage. Where's the pre-natal classes Butch? Why don't we have those? Not like there isn't enough books and websites and resources out there on pregnancy and child rearing. It's just going to be a lot of research on my own over the next 8 months. Plus, I feel like I'm one of the first. I'm actually in the middle. All my HS friends have kids. Only one of college friends has kids. Most of the older and some younger camp friends have kids. All my married grad school friends have kids. Two of my Harvest friends have kids. Plus, my sister is pregnant. So I'm clearly not the first. And we just found out yesterday that one of Martin's college friends is having a kid. He and his wife just got married in July. But none of his other close friends from college or high school have kids. Not sure what the point of saying all this is. Maybe I'm afraid that people will think it's so soon. But we'll be married 2 years when the baby arrives. I wouldn't say that's rushing it. But I think I wanted to be known as a couple who really took advantage of the DINK years and milked them for a while. I wouldn't say we're in that category either. Not sure why another 9 months (my plan) would have meant we were.

Need to Learn Many Lessens in Unselfishness and Faithfulness

This morning after I took the pregnancy test and we celebrated a little, I went back into bed and was just thinking of all the consequences on my life that this pregnancy will bring. Martin, always wise and on track, suggested we pray. DUH! but it was the farthest thing from my mind at the moment. Probably THE biggest moment in our life and I'm not thinking about praying or anyone but myself. We will need to do much praying over the next, well for the rest of our lives for this child. I'm definitely not thinking much about him/her at the moment or about my dear husband. That needs to change. Part of it is that it hasn't hit me yet - there is a child developing in me - a new human being that I need to care for! Lord, help me!

New Reasons for a Sweet November

This morning Martin and I found out we have a new reason to say that November is sweet. Our first child will most likely be born in November. Yes, I found out I was pregnant this morning, although I pretty much knew yesterday and had wonderings all week. According to the baby experts on the Internet, my due date is either November 8th, 9th, or 10th. So just a few days after our anniversary.

Martin and I have decided not to tell anyone until we can tell our families in person when we visit PA for my sister's baby shower and FL for Easter in early/mid April. So I thought it would be important to keep this blog up until that time. So the reader, most likely our close friends and family who in April will say "I can't believe you kept it a secret that long!" will know what was going on during the quiet period and so I have an outlet for all the things I want to talk about (besides Martin)!

I think the hardest thing about not telling is that I want to get all the knowledge/advice I can. Which prenatal vitamins are you taking, Carrie? Mom, which veggies should I particularly be eating? Nancy, Amy, and the BS gals, please help me put this all in perspective! Catherine G., what books should I read? Jen K., fitness for pregnancy, okay go. Laura H., what can and can't I eat? Melissa S., what's your secret for smooth deliveries? Jen L. and Reese, (2004, 2005, 2006, do you see a pattern here?) so I've got this weird rash, is this normal? Linda, do I need to worry about alergies now?

While I kinda knew getting pregnant was a possibility and I had been thinking about it this week, it is still a HUGE shock. Almost as much as the shock of failing my PhD comps. Martin and I had literately just decided to start trying in the fall, like October or November of this year for a variety of reasons. Embolden by the factoid that I read a few weeks ago that a 30-year old woman has only a 22 percent chance of conceiving in any one month and seeing friends struggle with infertility and because we had waited until three days after my basel temperature rose (even though there was another sign that I was still fertile), we "cheated" on our Natural Family Planning. It's important to me that others know this because I didn't get pregnant due to a failure of the method of birth control that I so like. (Although, I guess one of the downsides of the method is that it is so easy to cheat.) But this is just evidence of fallen pride for me though. I was out to prove that I was right about NFP and that I wouldn't get pregnant and prove the skeptics and those who were delighted that we were doing this because you thought it meant we'd be pregnant soon wrong. This is one of the many lessens God is teaching me through all this.

So I think most people wonder about the new soon-to-be parents reaction, especially about a unplanned pregnancy. To be completely honest, mine was not a good one. Sure I wanted children but I thought I wasn't ready. (Not sure how I thought waiting until the fall would make much difference.) Mostly because I had just convinced myself that the fall would be the best time to get pregnant because of work, money, housing, due date, stuff I wanted to do before getting pregnant, committments with STEP, etc. (Y'all know how I am with my incessant "planning"! - i.e. wanting to have everything together and make the best possible decisions) That all on top of the general fear of becoming a parent, the frustration of not having been on prenatal vitamins and obstaining from alcohol, and the-oh-my-God,-I- thought-I-just-graduated-high-school (look I'm still wearing the same clothes even)-am-I-really-old-enough-to-have-my-own-children thoughts! But mostly it's the planning stuff. I came up with these expectations that aren't going to be realized and thus I became disappointed when I should be joyful and excited. Granted, it's day one and even already the joy and excitement are pushing the disappointment away, especially seeing Martin's excitement. Just this week at Bible Study we looked at how God works things out for our good and how we have a hard time with that. I've known for a long time (comp failure prime example) that God's way is the better way. I mean it only makes sense. He has perfect knowledge of the future and perfect logistical power. I can see already how God has orchestrated this for a while now. The beauty of an unplanned pregnancy is that you know it's God's will and that you had nothing to do with the timing, well, you know, in a sense. I need to focus on that and realize that that blessing is better than the things that I hoped would happen and to trust that there are future reasons that will far outweigh my minor disappointments now. And God will work out those other details. So the week has been hard but good. And it hasn't hit me fully yet. When it does, I know I'll be more gitty about having a baby because I already see glimpses of that today. Can't wait to tell y'all!

"Simple" Pleasures

Using the word "simple" in the "simple Simon" context, most of us have some sort of simple pleasure. Maybe we read tabloids or watch cheesy 80s teenage movies or listen to Britaney Speers...but everyone has some sort of simple/bandwagon/shallow pleasure that he/she engages in. And the more of these we have and the more variety of tastes they embody, the more eccentric the person. My husband thinks that I strive to be eccentric which means I'm quirky but I'm not rich enough to be eccentric because eccentricity requires more variety of simple pleasures that I can't afford. Someday, though, I will be eccentric! My latest simple pleasure on my way to eccentricity is the book Deception Point by Dan Brown. I had read one of his other books, Angels and Demons, earlier this year and got hooked. Still haven't read THE Dan Brown book - that's too normal to be eccentric...and it hasn't come out in paperback. Deception Point is a geeky thriller for the up-and-coming Washintonian. It's about Rachel Sexton, a single, smart, thirty-something intelligent official who is asked to help the President on rolling out an annoucment about a NASA project that has had a ground-breaking discovery. This is particularly interesting since the President is up for reelection in the coming year and Rachel's father is the opposing party's most likely candidate. I haven't gotten much farther so there's not much more to tell about the book. But, that's not the point of this post. The point is that simple pleasures, while the more you have is good, too much of one can be bad so I can only read one of these books a year. They are so addicting. But, might some addiction also be a requirement for being eccentric?