Far, far above my thoughts

Far, far above your thought his counsel shall appear,
When fully he the work has wrought that caused your needless fear.

-Commit Now All Your Griefs,Words by Paul Gerhardt and John Wesley

The words of this hymn and the following Scripture spoke to me this week:

this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him - John 9:3

In my thinking of the decision about work, while the peace and comfort and security of my family is a reasonable objective, my ultimate goal and prayer should be that "the works of God" would be displayed in my life. And instead of trying to "solve" the problem by analyzing and agonizing over the decision day in and day out, I need to let God "wrought the work" through His counsel which is far, far above my thoughts. This is so hard for me to do.

Week 18 Update

The doctors appointment last week went well. Heartbeat was good. Sonogram is scheduled for the 29th so just 2.5 more weeks and we will hopefully find out if the kids have a little brother or a little sister.

I'm slowly slowly getting more and more energy back. I get tired (and cranky as my husband will tell you) right before meals but I'm not sure that's much different than normal.

I finally told work this week. Everyone said congratulations. I got a less than positive reaction from one co-worker but he has given me less than positive reactions for all three pregnancies so I'm trying to let that slide off my back.

Week 17 Update

I think the Vitamin D supplement helped because I'm not quite as tired. But I still feel pretty tired. Getting up to go to work is hard and commuting home is tough too. I'm wondering if that is adding to my thoughts on quitting. As I mentioned in a comment, I'm thinking about telling work I'm taking 6 months off and then making the final decision when I'm in non-pay status (the last 3 months of that). That way we'll see what it's like trying to live off of one salary. One thing that supports the quitting decision is that I found out that for Dylan to qualify for school aged childcare, I'd have to work 30 hours a week minimum. I've really been feeling that 30 hours is too much and 25 was much better. So that would complicate things.


I've been feeling the baby move and kick a little. That's exciting and helps it feel more real. I still need to tell my boss and make the facebook announcement. I'm thinking I'll do that next week. I have a doctors appointment tomorrow. I'll get the order for the sonogram so I can schedule. I'm really excited to find out if it's a boy or a girl. We'll have to decide if we are bringing the kids along or not. Dylan didn't come to Lydia's sonogram but he was younger.