Still feeling sick in the afternoon and evening mostly. Martin's been cooking the last few nights since I haven't been able to make myself go into the kitchen. I think it's getting better though. I can eat as long as I don't have to cook. I've been eating out a lot.
The weird thing is I've been freezing for weeks. Granted its cold outside and our thermostat was set at Jaromir Jagr which means it was Mario Lemieux (#pittsburghdad) downstairs but still, the cold doesn't usually bother me this much. I just can't regulate my body temp or something. I'm constantly cold. I never complained about being hot when I was pregnant in the summer so maybe I have the reverse problem. I guess I was only every at most 7 months pregnant during the summer but still. I guess we'll see in June when it's hot if I'm complaining then too.
I've been sleeping in a lot too so I'm tired but getting my sleep. I think I've given up on working out until at least after new years. We'll see how I feel then. I just count it a victory that I'm able to get thing ready for Christmas, keep up with the day to day stuff, and finish my class.
Can't wait to tell the family next week and then find out the results of the test (which we'll have done tomorrow) and find out if we're having a boy or a girl. I think we figured out how we are going to tell the kids. It will be fun!
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
Friday, December 06, 2013
Dylan update part b
Dylan had his 7 year old checkup today and we had our first parent teacher conference of the year.
Dylan gained 5 lbs and 2.5 inches this year, remaining in the 10th percentile at 43 lbs and 45.5 inches. Dr. Karp asked him a lot of questions and told him a lot of stories. He seemed to spend a lot of time with us. He said Dylan looked great.
We also got a good report from his teacher. Dylan is right on track with reading and writing and 'rithmatic. She said he is a delight and is creative and a hard worker. He just needs to work on sitting still when it's time for that. Dylan was "secure" in most of his academic work and all the rest were "developing" on track.
Dylan gained 5 lbs and 2.5 inches this year, remaining in the 10th percentile at 43 lbs and 45.5 inches. Dr. Karp asked him a lot of questions and told him a lot of stories. He seemed to spend a lot of time with us. He said Dylan looked great.
We also got a good report from his teacher. Dylan is right on track with reading and writing and 'rithmatic. She said he is a delight and is creative and a hard worker. He just needs to work on sitting still when it's time for that. Dylan was "secure" in most of his academic work and all the rest were "developing" on track.
Wednesday, December 04, 2013
Week 8 Update
Today, December 4th, we had the first ultrasound. Everything looked good! The baby is measuring right on schedule (maybe even a little ahead of schedule) which is a huge praise since Joshua was over a week behind even at this point.
Saw Dr. Fisk and he said they can't do the genetic blood test until 10 weeks so I'll have it done before Christmas but probably won't get the results until after Christmas. So we'll tell the folks and the kids at Christmas and tell them we will know the results in a week.
Since the last update, the morning sickness has hit hard. The Saturday after Thanksgiving was the worst. I get it bad after lunch and after dinner. And I'm really tired. I fall asleep just sitting on the couch. My family didn't suspect anything when they were here though. Ugh, four or five more weeks of this! Could be worse.
Saw Dr. Fisk and he said they can't do the genetic blood test until 10 weeks so I'll have it done before Christmas but probably won't get the results until after Christmas. So we'll tell the folks and the kids at Christmas and tell them we will know the results in a week.
Since the last update, the morning sickness has hit hard. The Saturday after Thanksgiving was the worst. I get it bad after lunch and after dinner. And I'm really tired. I fall asleep just sitting on the couch. My family didn't suspect anything when they were here though. Ugh, four or five more weeks of this! Could be worse.
Sunday, December 01, 2013
Another week of anniversaries
Today ends a week of Joshua anniversaries. His birthday, his heaven day, Thanksgiving (on which he was born), the day after (on which he died), the day of his funeral (yesterday), and the day of his burial (today).
Some friends sent us these beautiful flowers last Saturday. We got a couple cards. But not many people remember after the 1 year anniversary. I don't blame them. I don't remember the anniversaries of my friends' loved one's deaths. It's just extra special when someone does remember. On Joshua's birthday we went out to lunch with a few friends at the same place we went last year and then went to the cemetery with them for a short time. We sprinkled rose petals (from my anniversary roses that were dying) on Joshua's grave. Lydia did actually and she did it like she was flower girl in a wedding. It was COLD as usual at the cemetery so we didn't stay long. The next day we went to see the lights at Meadowlark Gardens like we did last year.
My struggle this year was keeping up the traditions. Last year, I wanted to a few things for Joshua's birthday that we could do every year as a tradition because traditions are an important tool for remembering, especially for the kids and it helps not having to think of something to do on each anniversary. Because if you don't do something to remember the person you've lost, you feel guilty. Human nature. The Meadowlark Garden things is kinda expensive and doesn't change from year to year and it was cold so I really didn't want to go. I compromised and went on Monday the 25th (when it was cheaper) instead of on Joshua's birthday. But I'm not sure if we'll continue to do it because it feels like we're doing it only because we said we would. But maybe that's still a good reason for some traditions. Going to that Peruvian chicken place will be out next year though. I just chose that place because I didn't want to have to plan where to go. Plus there's apparently a much better Peruvian chicken place right down the street. We'll still go to the cemetery of course and take something special. Maybe balloons next year. You want to do something but everything you can think of doing seems trivial. So I guess you just keep on doing it.
Some friends sent us these beautiful flowers last Saturday. We got a couple cards. But not many people remember after the 1 year anniversary. I don't blame them. I don't remember the anniversaries of my friends' loved one's deaths. It's just extra special when someone does remember. On Joshua's birthday we went out to lunch with a few friends at the same place we went last year and then went to the cemetery with them for a short time. We sprinkled rose petals (from my anniversary roses that were dying) on Joshua's grave. Lydia did actually and she did it like she was flower girl in a wedding. It was COLD as usual at the cemetery so we didn't stay long. The next day we went to see the lights at Meadowlark Gardens like we did last year.
My struggle this year was keeping up the traditions. Last year, I wanted to a few things for Joshua's birthday that we could do every year as a tradition because traditions are an important tool for remembering, especially for the kids and it helps not having to think of something to do on each anniversary. Because if you don't do something to remember the person you've lost, you feel guilty. Human nature. The Meadowlark Garden things is kinda expensive and doesn't change from year to year and it was cold so I really didn't want to go. I compromised and went on Monday the 25th (when it was cheaper) instead of on Joshua's birthday. But I'm not sure if we'll continue to do it because it feels like we're doing it only because we said we would. But maybe that's still a good reason for some traditions. Going to that Peruvian chicken place will be out next year though. I just chose that place because I didn't want to have to plan where to go. Plus there's apparently a much better Peruvian chicken place right down the street. We'll still go to the cemetery of course and take something special. Maybe balloons next year. You want to do something but everything you can think of doing seems trivial. So I guess you just keep on doing it.
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Week 6 update
Today, November 20th, I had my first doctor's appointment. I met with the PA and really liked her. She knew my chart and I didn't have to repeat sad details that she should have known because she was on top of it.
I'm not having too much anxiety about the pregnancy which is good. I'm a lot healthier than I was going in last time for what that's worth. But at first I was going to snub all the "rules" (within reason) like no alcohol, no hot tub, no soft cheese, but then that cause some anxious feelings so I'm going to stick to the rules... : )
I still won't have a amnio or a CVS test but there are some blood screens that I could have and it would be nice to get some good results from those before we start telling more people. I found out more about a new non-evasive genetic blood screen (but it's pretty close to a test) at the appointment today. They take the mom's blood and can separate out the baby's genetic material to determine if there are any genetic disorders. With my risk factors (age and previous genetic issue) the insurance should pay for it. It can be done as early as 9 weeks and it takes 1 week to get the results so it looks like we'll be able to know right before Christmas. Assuming good results, we'll tell our families and the kids on Christmas.
I'll go back to the doctor in 2 weeks for an ultrasound. At this ultrasound, Joshua was measuring really small already (10 or so days behind) so for us, if this baby is measuring on time, we will take that as a very good sign,
I think I started to having a little bit of morning sickness on Saturday. It started just before and after lunch. I think I waited too long to eat and then had maybe too much at once. I remember that happening before. I felt sick if I didn't eat but then I also felt sick if I did eat. Need to remember small and frequent meals. I'm also starting feeling tired earlier than usually (6,7,8 pm instead of 9 or 10 pm).
I've been keeping up with my exercising that I've been doing since I quit work. Aerobics with some weights twice a week and then swimming once a week. Hoping to keep that up as long as possible.
I'm not having too much anxiety about the pregnancy which is good. I'm a lot healthier than I was going in last time for what that's worth. But at first I was going to snub all the "rules" (within reason) like no alcohol, no hot tub, no soft cheese, but then that cause some anxious feelings so I'm going to stick to the rules... : )
I still won't have a amnio or a CVS test but there are some blood screens that I could have and it would be nice to get some good results from those before we start telling more people. I found out more about a new non-evasive genetic blood screen (but it's pretty close to a test) at the appointment today. They take the mom's blood and can separate out the baby's genetic material to determine if there are any genetic disorders. With my risk factors (age and previous genetic issue) the insurance should pay for it. It can be done as early as 9 weeks and it takes 1 week to get the results so it looks like we'll be able to know right before Christmas. Assuming good results, we'll tell our families and the kids on Christmas.
I'll go back to the doctor in 2 weeks for an ultrasound. At this ultrasound, Joshua was measuring really small already (10 or so days behind) so for us, if this baby is measuring on time, we will take that as a very good sign,
I think I started to having a little bit of morning sickness on Saturday. It started just before and after lunch. I think I waited too long to eat and then had maybe too much at once. I remember that happening before. I felt sick if I didn't eat but then I also felt sick if I did eat. Need to remember small and frequent meals. I'm also starting feeling tired earlier than usually (6,7,8 pm instead of 9 or 10 pm).
I've been keeping up with my exercising that I've been doing since I quit work. Aerobics with some weights twice a week and then swimming once a week. Hoping to keep that up as long as possible.
Sunday, November 17, 2013
On being (mostly) out of the workforce
When most people ask me how my voluntary unemployment is going I say that I like it and I'm still busy. All true. But here's the longer answer.
I still base how well my life is going on how many things I'm getting done. So I keep having to remind myself of all the things I'm doing that aren't on any list to cross off or are less concrete. I'm exercising again and losing weight (slowly) but more importantly that's keeping me healthy. I can even put that on a list - a goal list. Our life is less hectic, particularly during dinnertime (goal, check). This is the first year that Dylan has had homework and with that and piano lessons/practice, getting home at 6:30pm three days a week and trying to do dinner and getting the kids in bed by 8pm would have been crazy. Now we have time for family worship after dinner and some wrestling time with daddy. And Martin is less stressed and doesn't have to cook dinner as much.
I've gotten to do some things that I was never able to do before - take Lydia on playdates with her friends from school, go on the annual trip to Cox farms with Dylan's school, take Lydia to the Frying Pan Park, have time for the kids to just be home and play, be around for Dylan to have playdates with the neighbors, and have time for last minute shopping trips when I forget to get a gift for someone. Things are a lot less stressful as far as our schedule. I spend a lot of time at the playground. My kids are enjoying the outdoors (a priority for our family) and I'm being available to connect with people there.
And as I recently read in Simplicity Parenting, it's this downtime where real connection with your children are made. These intangibles (being more healthy, more quality time, etc.) are hard things for this to do list person.
I got a bunch of little projects done and even some work on a big project in that first month after I quit. But life fills up quick and even things that I agree to that I don't think will take much of my time end up do taking time. Plus, I'm not very disciplined. If I have 20 minutes before going to pick up the kids, I'm not going to read or clean a bathroom or file papers, I'm going to check facebook. Some of the best advice I ever got was to chop up every job until 15 minute chunks. That's the way to get things done. Then, even when you have a few minutes, you make progress.
I've decided to inject a little more structure into my 12 hours per week that the kids are in school so that I can see more fruit. I'm going to take 3 classes in the spring. So hopefully I will feel more of an urgency to be diligent about my school work. I think I can handle the load because I've had the prof already and she is easy and the other classes don't have any prereqs and are usually taken as 8 week classes and I'm going to take them as 16 week classes.
But mostly I just need to enjoy this time that I'm in. And I need to celebrate progress and not focus on what's not done.
I realized that there were a lot of things that I was doing at work and know I have to do them at home so I didn't gain quite as much time as I thought I might. And I do miss work and the issues and the people. I went to a meeting for something at Dylan's school and I was so into it and feeling like I was back in the game again. So it's hard when you like both (or many) things, determining how to spend your time. If I could do work for 15 hours per week, when I wanted to do that work (no set hours), I'd be working now. The 30 hours per week scheduled work hours was too much but I'd love to find another arrangement to get back in the game. All in good time. Just going to enjoy this season for now. It's a good one.
I still base how well my life is going on how many things I'm getting done. So I keep having to remind myself of all the things I'm doing that aren't on any list to cross off or are less concrete. I'm exercising again and losing weight (slowly) but more importantly that's keeping me healthy. I can even put that on a list - a goal list. Our life is less hectic, particularly during dinnertime (goal, check). This is the first year that Dylan has had homework and with that and piano lessons/practice, getting home at 6:30pm three days a week and trying to do dinner and getting the kids in bed by 8pm would have been crazy. Now we have time for family worship after dinner and some wrestling time with daddy. And Martin is less stressed and doesn't have to cook dinner as much.
I've gotten to do some things that I was never able to do before - take Lydia on playdates with her friends from school, go on the annual trip to Cox farms with Dylan's school, take Lydia to the Frying Pan Park, have time for the kids to just be home and play, be around for Dylan to have playdates with the neighbors, and have time for last minute shopping trips when I forget to get a gift for someone. Things are a lot less stressful as far as our schedule. I spend a lot of time at the playground. My kids are enjoying the outdoors (a priority for our family) and I'm being available to connect with people there.
And as I recently read in Simplicity Parenting, it's this downtime where real connection with your children are made. These intangibles (being more healthy, more quality time, etc.) are hard things for this to do list person.
I got a bunch of little projects done and even some work on a big project in that first month after I quit. But life fills up quick and even things that I agree to that I don't think will take much of my time end up do taking time. Plus, I'm not very disciplined. If I have 20 minutes before going to pick up the kids, I'm not going to read or clean a bathroom or file papers, I'm going to check facebook. Some of the best advice I ever got was to chop up every job until 15 minute chunks. That's the way to get things done. Then, even when you have a few minutes, you make progress.
I've decided to inject a little more structure into my 12 hours per week that the kids are in school so that I can see more fruit. I'm going to take 3 classes in the spring. So hopefully I will feel more of an urgency to be diligent about my school work. I think I can handle the load because I've had the prof already and she is easy and the other classes don't have any prereqs and are usually taken as 8 week classes and I'm going to take them as 16 week classes.
But mostly I just need to enjoy this time that I'm in. And I need to celebrate progress and not focus on what's not done.
I realized that there were a lot of things that I was doing at work and know I have to do them at home so I didn't gain quite as much time as I thought I might. And I do miss work and the issues and the people. I went to a meeting for something at Dylan's school and I was so into it and feeling like I was back in the game again. So it's hard when you like both (or many) things, determining how to spend your time. If I could do work for 15 hours per week, when I wanted to do that work (no set hours), I'd be working now. The 30 hours per week scheduled work hours was too much but I'd love to find another arrangement to get back in the game. All in good time. Just going to enjoy this season for now. It's a good one.
Wednesday, November 06, 2013
Baby #4 due to arrive in July
I found out today (November 6th, our anniversary) that I'm pregnant with our fourth child. Yea!!! So excited. Happy anniversary to us! Sweet November!
You won't be reading this until January because we decided not to tell the kids until Christmas. Well, we decide not to tell our families until Christmas and you can't tell a 7 year old and 4 year old a secret.
This is the first time I've really felt the profoundness of the decision we made to have a child. Dylan wasn't planned and the decisions to have Lydia and Joshua were just sort of what came next. This time we had to think hard about whether we wanted another child. God is sovereign but I still I felt the weight of the decision in the sense that we would be changing the course of our lives forever. That's exciting and weighty to me.
So the due date is July 16th and since all the rest of our kids were born within a day of a holiday and were early I'm expecting this little on on July 5th. God's timing is great. The big kids will be out of school and done with most of their activities for the summer and I won't have too much on my plate with school stuff. I'm taking classes in the spring semester but they will be done in early May. Still hoping to go to Moms and Tots at Pine Springs Camp in early/mid June but that might be pushing it. And of course I couldn't go through a pregnancy with how it affects my work schedule so I'm hoping that the contract work I was hoping to do with the FDIC is still doable. It is nice to not be working and not have that stress of going to work with morning sickness or telling the boss. Also, having done this before a few times, it's nice to be able to just focus on praying for my child and dreaming about having a newborn rather than the other concerns that I thought about the other times (like what can/can't I do/eat/etc, planning, shopping, and work issues).
I'm exciting about bringing a baby home to this house. THEN it will be our house.
Another thing I'm excited about is that I think having another child after losing one is going to give me more opportunities to talk about Joshua which I love. People tend to ask pregnant women more questions about their families (what number is this? how were your other pregnancies? etc.) so I'll get opportunities to honor my third child as well and be excited for the new baby. And at church the announcement will say "expecting their fourth child."
I'm excited that Lydia will be home with me on Fridays next school year (K is only 4 days a week at their school) so I can get those special times of me taking care the baby and she helping or mimicking me by caring for her dolls.
And I get to finish the LHOTP series! I read the first 3 books to Dylan and the second 3 books to Lydia so I need to finish the last 3. And I'm excited to have a baby close in age to some friends who have had babies recently.
I'm also excited for the challenge of caring for a newborn and having two school-aged kids with all their running around and activities. Given the high priority I place on breastfeeding and sleep (for the child) this is certainly a challenge.
Going to try to keep up with the blogging every week or every other week throughout the pregnancy.
You won't be reading this until January because we decided not to tell the kids until Christmas. Well, we decide not to tell our families until Christmas and you can't tell a 7 year old and 4 year old a secret.
This is the first time I've really felt the profoundness of the decision we made to have a child. Dylan wasn't planned and the decisions to have Lydia and Joshua were just sort of what came next. This time we had to think hard about whether we wanted another child. God is sovereign but I still I felt the weight of the decision in the sense that we would be changing the course of our lives forever. That's exciting and weighty to me.
So the due date is July 16th and since all the rest of our kids were born within a day of a holiday and were early I'm expecting this little on on July 5th. God's timing is great. The big kids will be out of school and done with most of their activities for the summer and I won't have too much on my plate with school stuff. I'm taking classes in the spring semester but they will be done in early May. Still hoping to go to Moms and Tots at Pine Springs Camp in early/mid June but that might be pushing it. And of course I couldn't go through a pregnancy with how it affects my work schedule so I'm hoping that the contract work I was hoping to do with the FDIC is still doable. It is nice to not be working and not have that stress of going to work with morning sickness or telling the boss. Also, having done this before a few times, it's nice to be able to just focus on praying for my child and dreaming about having a newborn rather than the other concerns that I thought about the other times (like what can/can't I do/eat/etc, planning, shopping, and work issues).
I'm exciting about bringing a baby home to this house. THEN it will be our house.
Another thing I'm excited about is that I think having another child after losing one is going to give me more opportunities to talk about Joshua which I love. People tend to ask pregnant women more questions about their families (what number is this? how were your other pregnancies? etc.) so I'll get opportunities to honor my third child as well and be excited for the new baby. And at church the announcement will say "expecting their fourth child."
I'm excited that Lydia will be home with me on Fridays next school year (K is only 4 days a week at their school) so I can get those special times of me taking care the baby and she helping or mimicking me by caring for her dolls.
And I get to finish the LHOTP series! I read the first 3 books to Dylan and the second 3 books to Lydia so I need to finish the last 3. And I'm excited to have a baby close in age to some friends who have had babies recently.
I'm also excited for the challenge of caring for a newborn and having two school-aged kids with all their running around and activities. Given the high priority I place on breastfeeding and sleep (for the child) this is certainly a challenge.
Going to try to keep up with the blogging every week or every other week throughout the pregnancy.
Friday, November 01, 2013
Meet the newest members of the Etner Clan
Dylan Jr. and Delta.
We got out of the pet store without too much damage. We contemplated a guinea pig but it would have been a lot of expense and work and so we were fortunate that Dylan was glad to get some fish.
We got out of the pet store without too much damage. We contemplated a guinea pig but it would have been a lot of expense and work and so we were fortunate that Dylan was glad to get some fish.
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Seven Years Old!
Happy Birthday to our first-born! Dylan has had many accomplishments this year. The highlight was playing on a baseball team for the first time. Dylan continues to practice baseball in the back yard even now in the off season. Dylan also performed in his first piano recital with gusto! He played one of the hardest pieces that he learned all year and played it with authority. He has a really good ear and picks up most pieces by ear fairly quickly. But don't ask him if he likes piano.
Another major accomplishment was learning how to read. Dylan is pretty proficient but still prefers me to read to him at night. Over the summer he participated in the county library's reading program and had added incentive from Daddy - read 100 books and you can go to an amusement park! Dylan went above and beyond that incentive. His favorites were Hi Fly Guy and Don't let the Pigeon Drive the Bus. Dylan had a really smooth transition to 1st grade and the 5 day school week. First grade brought home work for the first time as well as spelling tests. In a class of 80 percent boys, he enjoys going to school each day and says that school is easy. We have yet to find an end to his energy and recently Martin explained to someone that Dylan is just so much of an extrovert that he gets more energized by going to school and being around people so school doesn't tire him out.
I know Dylan has grow a bunch this year since he is eating more and his pants don't fit (lengthwise, of course) but we won't get the official measurement until December when he goes for his check up (I called a month in advance and still had to take an appointment 6 weeks after his birthday.)
Dylan has now lost a total of 8 teeth so four more since his birthday last year. He was without his front teeth for most of the holiday season last year. He still has two holes on top waiting for the other two top teeth to come in.
Dylan is still very much into Wii and the Skylanders game that he got last birthday. He and his friends often pretend play Skylanders. Dylan has also taken to building things with wood in the back yard and still enjoys climbing trees. He's all boy.
Last year Dylan asked for a pet. I told him we could get one when he's seven. Well, he hasn't forgotten so tonight after dinner at Chipotle (his pick) we will head over to Petco in search of a family pet. I'm hoping we find something that's not too much work. Thinking like a fish or water frog or maybe a gerbil or a lizard. Stay tuned.
Saturday, October 05, 2013
License to Consult
I'm officially a business. I obtained my business license from the town this week. (Don't get me started on the ridiculousness of the bureaucracy, but I have to mention that I had to get an occupancy permit to sit at my personal computer in my personal house and earn money.) The license says "consulting." So feel free to consult me on anything you'd like...:) I guess I put too many things on the application...wedding coordinating, government contracting, bookkeeping. I may not be doing as much bookkeeping as soon as I hoped. I found out recently that I need the equivalent of one year full time experience working in accounting before I can get my CPA license. And working for yourself does not count. I need to get that experience in a maximum time period of three years. In other words, I can't work 10 hours per week for 4 years. But I may be able to do 10 hours per week for 2 years and then 20 hours per week for 1 year. So if I'm going to need to do that I'm not sure I can also run a bookkeeping business on the side. But I'm still feeling like there are lots of opportunities out there. I may just take a client or two to get my feet wet and then go work for someone else for a while. But now I have the license to do that.
Of course I may go to work for my former employer for a while too. My former boss called me about a week ago. He asked me how I was liking staying home. After I told him I was enjoying myself, he said, I was afraid of that. But as long as I have a task that I can do from home I may start contracting back to them next year. Or I might start getting my experience for the CPA. Still lots of opportunities.
I'm not bored at home though. That's for sure. I've been exercising consistently for about 2 week which is great. Then I have my class work and volunteering and between those and just the normal day to day stuff, which includes lots of playground time with the kids these days, I barely have time for the projects I've been hoping to get done. But I do have a little time each week, I just need to be diligent about it.
Of course I may go to work for my former employer for a while too. My former boss called me about a week ago. He asked me how I was liking staying home. After I told him I was enjoying myself, he said, I was afraid of that. But as long as I have a task that I can do from home I may start contracting back to them next year. Or I might start getting my experience for the CPA. Still lots of opportunities.
I'm not bored at home though. That's for sure. I've been exercising consistently for about 2 week which is great. Then I have my class work and volunteering and between those and just the normal day to day stuff, which includes lots of playground time with the kids these days, I barely have time for the projects I've been hoping to get done. But I do have a little time each week, I just need to be diligent about it.
Thursday, September 19, 2013
Experiencing redemption
Sunday, September 15, 2013
What a great week!
My first week of unemployment has been great! Even that first Saturday was good because I didn't feel like I need to get everything done that day before the week started again. On Monday I took Lydia to the teddy bear festival on the town green and we met up with some preschool friends there and had lunch at Whole Foods. It was great talking to the mom and just feeling like I could be present without worrying about getting back to get my work hours in. Lydia came home and at one point we were dancing and twirling in the kitchen and just having fun. There were so many of those little moments this week. Like seeing Dylan right when he comes home from school and just coming home after school and not running to do other things. I read a book to the kids when Dylan came home and we practiced piano before dinner, which I made. I also did a lot of little chores that I never seemed to have time for. AND that was just the first day. Later in the week I was able to call a friend who just had a baby just to check on how she was doing and I was available for another friend who wanted to bounce an idea off of me and felt like she was more free to call me now that she knows I wasn't working. Our dinner time is not as rushed and we actually had some family worship time while the kids were finishing eating. Even Martin said, "I feel like I should be doing something" one day when he came home but there was nothing else that he needed to do except play with the kids. We just have some much more time now. I'm sure it will fill up but for now I'm just going to enjoy this new pace.
I only had a tinge of "what is my purpose/value?" thinking. And maybe a tiny worry when I realized that every single car expense we have other than gas hits in the month of October, my first month without a paycheck. Oh, and I realized that the mommy guilt really doesn't go away because now I just feel guilty for letting my kids watch TV or for checking facebook when they are awake.
So, on balance, just a great week and feeling so blessed that I am able to do this.
I only had a tinge of "what is my purpose/value?" thinking. And maybe a tiny worry when I realized that every single car expense we have other than gas hits in the month of October, my first month without a paycheck. Oh, and I realized that the mommy guilt really doesn't go away because now I just feel guilty for letting my kids watch TV or for checking facebook when they are awake.
So, on balance, just a great week and feeling so blessed that I am able to do this.
Friday, September 06, 2013
Last Day
Today's my last day at the FDIC. Lots of mixed emotions. I'm definitely happy and excited and a number of people have told me how happy I look. I'm also nervous and a little sad. Sad to be saying goodbye to my co-workers and my projects. Nervous about future decisions and being able to get a job again. I'm been trying to firm up some connections and opportunities before I go so that has me thinking about the future and that brings the anxiety. So I have new opportunities to trust God with the future.
It's also hard to leave the stuff I've worked on for so many years. Some of my research never amounted to much policy-wise and tossing so many papers acknowledges that. But I did pass on a lot of my files to my co-worker, in case the issues ever come up again. I have some of those "did it really matter?" feelings.
One of my co-workers said I looked like I just graduated high school. A clear plate and nothing but the future to gaze upon. But of course life still goes on and in the mist of this monumental day I'm also dealing with car repairs and schedules and phone calls for this and that. So that makes it a little less anti-climatic.
But next week when I don't have to into work or put in my hours on my computer at home I'll be thankful for the freedom and the time to spend with the kids and Martin. Right now it's still sinking in and I'm not enjoying the benefits yet, like the whole new slower rhythm of life. Can't wait!
It's also hard to leave the stuff I've worked on for so many years. Some of my research never amounted to much policy-wise and tossing so many papers acknowledges that. But I did pass on a lot of my files to my co-worker, in case the issues ever come up again. I have some of those "did it really matter?" feelings.
One of my co-workers said I looked like I just graduated high school. A clear plate and nothing but the future to gaze upon. But of course life still goes on and in the mist of this monumental day I'm also dealing with car repairs and schedules and phone calls for this and that. So that makes it a little less anti-climatic.
But next week when I don't have to into work or put in my hours on my computer at home I'll be thankful for the freedom and the time to spend with the kids and Martin. Right now it's still sinking in and I'm not enjoying the benefits yet, like the whole new slower rhythm of life. Can't wait!
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
"You're making a big mistake!"
Yep, that's what my boss wrote in my going away card. He also said, "but you'll be welcomed back." I really need to take stuff like this as a compliment but if people knew how much I question myself, especially on big decisions, they would know this is not a good thing to say to me. When I left Treasury, I had a co-worker who said that I was making a mistake and he also made it personal, saying I was basically betraying my then boss. Thankfully, no one has done that yet here. Oh, and this week my boss also has made more than one reference to indentured servant-hood, bemoaning why it is no longer in existence. Do you see what I'm dealing with here? Every day someone tells me "it's not too late to change your mind."
To be fair and balanced, I also have a number of folks, the ones I truly admire, that have said, good for you, good decision, you'll never regret it, you're really smart for doing this, etc. And some great friends at work who understand and are celebrating with me. The gal who is going to bear the brunt of my absence picked out some wonderful going away gifts for me - a DC hikes book, a gift certificate to Sports Authority, family friendly trail mix, tea, a mug that says "you rock," and some spa stuff (soap, nail polish, etc). She said the hiking gifts were for spending time with my family and the spa gifts were for the "me" time that I will hopefully now have. So sweet.
We had a going away lunch today at Old Ebbitt and then cupcakes back at the office when they gave me the gifts and the card. Yesterday was the 12 year anniversary of the start of my government career. I feel a completeness at leaving at this time. One of the major crisis programs that I worked on has no come to an end and I don't feel like I'm leaving mid-project on anything really.
Only three days left in the office. I will definitely miss the projects and coming into the city and the friends I have here. But I'm sure I will be so busy with the kids and using my gifts in other areas of my life that I won't have much time for longing for the old days. I suppose it is nice to know, however, that if I do decide to change my mind, I'll be welcomed back.
To be fair and balanced, I also have a number of folks, the ones I truly admire, that have said, good for you, good decision, you'll never regret it, you're really smart for doing this, etc. And some great friends at work who understand and are celebrating with me. The gal who is going to bear the brunt of my absence picked out some wonderful going away gifts for me - a DC hikes book, a gift certificate to Sports Authority, family friendly trail mix, tea, a mug that says "you rock," and some spa stuff (soap, nail polish, etc). She said the hiking gifts were for spending time with my family and the spa gifts were for the "me" time that I will hopefully now have. So sweet.
We had a going away lunch today at Old Ebbitt and then cupcakes back at the office when they gave me the gifts and the card. Yesterday was the 12 year anniversary of the start of my government career. I feel a completeness at leaving at this time. One of the major crisis programs that I worked on has no come to an end and I don't feel like I'm leaving mid-project on anything really.
Only three days left in the office. I will definitely miss the projects and coming into the city and the friends I have here. But I'm sure I will be so busy with the kids and using my gifts in other areas of my life that I won't have much time for longing for the old days. I suppose it is nice to know, however, that if I do decide to change my mind, I'll be welcomed back.
Friday, August 02, 2013
It's official!
I'm quitting my job. I told my boss today. He took it okay. Basically, he wasn't happy (I'm
taking that as a compliment) but he understood. I feel like a weight
has been lifted off my shoulders and the nervousness I've been feeling
all summer is gone (at least for now until I have to start thinking
about starting a business).
I'm sure I'm going to analyze things more (like people's reactions) so I'll post more thoughts later but for now it's off to Pine Springs Camp!
I'm sure I'm going to analyze things more (like people's reactions) so I'll post more thoughts later but for now it's off to Pine Springs Camp!
Friday, June 28, 2013
37
AAAAH, it's my birthday again. How did that happen?
37. I'm still in my mid-thirties! I don't feel too old until I see a new mom at the pool or something. I shouldn't perceive my age relative to my children's but seeing them getting older and more independent makes me feel older. It brings a little sadness not be in the baby season. But the seasons are a-changing all around and I'm excited to me moving into the next season of my career and home life. Martin and I did have the conversation about me quitting and he thinks it's best for our family too so I'm going to quit on September 6th. I won't tell my boss until August so I guess it's not official yet but I'm feeling good about it and not too afraid of telling him.
I'm learning that when you have kids, having a birthday on a Saturday (which, by the way, has not happened for me since right before Martin and I started dating) is not the greatest thing. Dylan was invited to 3 birthday parties tomorrow. We are only going to one - my nephew's. I told my sister it was okay to have his party on my birthday because if she would have had it the week before we would have been on vacation and missed it and we said one of the best things about living close was getting to come to each others' kids' birthday parties. So we are going to my sister's tomorrow, which is good, she has pool and my parents will be there and my brother and his girlfriend so it will be nice for me too. My coworkers are taking me out for lunch today and Martin and the kids are taking me out for dinner tonight. My parents were at my house yesterday and they bought me an ice cream cake so we had that after dinner last night. I kinda did a lot of my birthday traditions in March because of sales and an expiration of a gift card I had for a massage. Martin bought me a kindle fire then which is my birthday-anniversary-Christmas-valentines day gift-mother's day gift. My parents got me a case for it which they gave me last night. So just lots of family time this birthday which is nice.
I stayed up late last night finishing my book club book so I hoping to sleep in tomorrow and go to bed early. Maybe watch a movie with my hubby when we get home from my sister's. Low key but relaxing this year. I usually take my birthday off from work and have some me time but I feel like I've had enough of that for now - too much thinking lately about my work and plans for setting up a business. Time to just enjoy the summertime.
37. I'm still in my mid-thirties! I don't feel too old until I see a new mom at the pool or something. I shouldn't perceive my age relative to my children's but seeing them getting older and more independent makes me feel older. It brings a little sadness not be in the baby season. But the seasons are a-changing all around and I'm excited to me moving into the next season of my career and home life. Martin and I did have the conversation about me quitting and he thinks it's best for our family too so I'm going to quit on September 6th. I won't tell my boss until August so I guess it's not official yet but I'm feeling good about it and not too afraid of telling him.
I'm learning that when you have kids, having a birthday on a Saturday (which, by the way, has not happened for me since right before Martin and I started dating) is not the greatest thing. Dylan was invited to 3 birthday parties tomorrow. We are only going to one - my nephew's. I told my sister it was okay to have his party on my birthday because if she would have had it the week before we would have been on vacation and missed it and we said one of the best things about living close was getting to come to each others' kids' birthday parties. So we are going to my sister's tomorrow, which is good, she has pool and my parents will be there and my brother and his girlfriend so it will be nice for me too. My coworkers are taking me out for lunch today and Martin and the kids are taking me out for dinner tonight. My parents were at my house yesterday and they bought me an ice cream cake so we had that after dinner last night. I kinda did a lot of my birthday traditions in March because of sales and an expiration of a gift card I had for a massage. Martin bought me a kindle fire then which is my birthday-anniversary-Christmas-valentines day gift-mother's day gift. My parents got me a case for it which they gave me last night. So just lots of family time this birthday which is nice.
I stayed up late last night finishing my book club book so I hoping to sleep in tomorrow and go to bed early. Maybe watch a movie with my hubby when we get home from my sister's. Low key but relaxing this year. I usually take my birthday off from work and have some me time but I feel like I've had enough of that for now - too much thinking lately about my work and plans for setting up a business. Time to just enjoy the summertime.
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
New Ambitions Part II
Well, Martin's contract was renewed! He was finding out as I typed my blog entry on Friday. I'm still giving him time to celebrate before making the final decision on my job plans.
Those of you who have been with my blog from the beginning know that I started out talking about career and ambition. (I originally titled this post New Ambition, not even remembering that I had "New Ambitions" from 2005, so I renamed this one New Ambitions Part II.) I think part of my struggle with quitting my current job (even though I want to) has been that I didn't want to be told I had no ambition. I know there would be certain people, particularly co-workers from my current and previous jobs, who would say I was giving up a good career. Oh, she had so much potential if she just would have stuck with it. Especially, with so many people retiring from the government in the next 5 years.
I'm starting to see the narrow-sightedness of these statements. First, why was I letting these people define my goals and ambitions for me. Second, if in fact that's what they would say (considering I am putting words in their mouths) would they even be right? I've now been around long enough to see so many folks plateau in their careers for years. And I'm pretty sure that's even the normal scheme of things for 35-50 year-olds. Third, even if I was promoted, I'd have to work more hours which I know I don't want to do. Period. Which takes me back to reason 1).
Just because I've been on a certain career path for 12 years does not mean that I have to continue on that path. Many highly successful jump around a lot and do completely different things on their career path. Granted my jump is somewhat of a step back (less pay, doing something requiring less skill, fewer hours), but if I'm just going to plateau anyway, why not spend those years doing something I enjoy and that will let me be with my family more.
About a year ago, a dear friend was bragging about me to a couple other women as we all sat in her kitchen. She told the other women what I planned to do (which included eventually quitting my job) and then said (tongue in cheek) "I don't have over-achieving friends or anything..." She definitely thought I was being ambitious even though I wasn't continuing up in my field. What she said reinforced to me that the things I am thinking about doing are highly ambitious (!light bulb!) - taking classes, starting a business, advocating for a culture where part-time work is more accepted, helping those less fortunate through direct financial counseling. Not to mention my family obligations and pursuits. So success for me would be doing these things well and who cares if others think I am not ambitious and have a terrible work ethic (btw, when did those two things become the same in my mind....uhhh...) because they are looking at success very narrowly.
I'm sure you can tell through my writing that I'm still trying to convince myself of these things but I can tell you that I know I feeling more confident about it than I did 2 years ago. Maybe part of that has to do with the fact that it's an easier time to quit since work isn't as busy as it was, but too I'm seeing more opportunities and getting more excited about my dreams outside of my government job. Plus, with age, I have more feelings of "do it now or you never will and you don't want to miss your chance."
I guess the risk is getting back in if I want. And I actually want to. My long-term plan is to get a government job at the end my career to get the benefits (assuming Congress hasn't striped every last one of them away by then). How long can I be gone and still get back in? What kind of experience will I need to do in the meantime to allow me get back in as a GS-15? I half joke that since I had experience from this most recent financial crisis, then I'll be valuable for when the next crisis comes around 15-20 years from now. I think the important thing is just to do something. So running a business or doing bookkeeping for a charity is something.
I had a conversation with a younger family member not too long ago about my plans. He asked the typical "why are you going to through your education away" type of question. I know my answer is a good one but it still bothers me that that's a default reaction. My answer was basically that I've used my degree for 12 years and it has paid off very well. I keep telling people that I got my dream job pretty much right out of school. Been there done that, now I'm moving on. (Maybe it wasn't really my dream job since I want to leave or maybe your dream job just changes as you go.)
Thank you for reading about this topic (again) in my borderline non-coherent free typing blogging. I'll keep you all updated.
Those of you who have been with my blog from the beginning know that I started out talking about career and ambition. (I originally titled this post New Ambition, not even remembering that I had "New Ambitions" from 2005, so I renamed this one New Ambitions Part II.) I think part of my struggle with quitting my current job (even though I want to) has been that I didn't want to be told I had no ambition. I know there would be certain people, particularly co-workers from my current and previous jobs, who would say I was giving up a good career. Oh, she had so much potential if she just would have stuck with it. Especially, with so many people retiring from the government in the next 5 years.
I'm starting to see the narrow-sightedness of these statements. First, why was I letting these people define my goals and ambitions for me. Second, if in fact that's what they would say (considering I am putting words in their mouths) would they even be right? I've now been around long enough to see so many folks plateau in their careers for years. And I'm pretty sure that's even the normal scheme of things for 35-50 year-olds. Third, even if I was promoted, I'd have to work more hours which I know I don't want to do. Period. Which takes me back to reason 1).
Just because I've been on a certain career path for 12 years does not mean that I have to continue on that path. Many highly successful jump around a lot and do completely different things on their career path. Granted my jump is somewhat of a step back (less pay, doing something requiring less skill, fewer hours), but if I'm just going to plateau anyway, why not spend those years doing something I enjoy and that will let me be with my family more.
About a year ago, a dear friend was bragging about me to a couple other women as we all sat in her kitchen. She told the other women what I planned to do (which included eventually quitting my job) and then said (tongue in cheek) "I don't have over-achieving friends or anything..." She definitely thought I was being ambitious even though I wasn't continuing up in my field. What she said reinforced to me that the things I am thinking about doing are highly ambitious (!light bulb!) - taking classes, starting a business, advocating for a culture where part-time work is more accepted, helping those less fortunate through direct financial counseling. Not to mention my family obligations and pursuits. So success for me would be doing these things well and who cares if others think I am not ambitious and have a terrible work ethic (btw, when did those two things become the same in my mind....uhhh...) because they are looking at success very narrowly.
I'm sure you can tell through my writing that I'm still trying to convince myself of these things but I can tell you that I know I feeling more confident about it than I did 2 years ago. Maybe part of that has to do with the fact that it's an easier time to quit since work isn't as busy as it was, but too I'm seeing more opportunities and getting more excited about my dreams outside of my government job. Plus, with age, I have more feelings of "do it now or you never will and you don't want to miss your chance."
I guess the risk is getting back in if I want. And I actually want to. My long-term plan is to get a government job at the end my career to get the benefits (assuming Congress hasn't striped every last one of them away by then). How long can I be gone and still get back in? What kind of experience will I need to do in the meantime to allow me get back in as a GS-15? I half joke that since I had experience from this most recent financial crisis, then I'll be valuable for when the next crisis comes around 15-20 years from now. I think the important thing is just to do something. So running a business or doing bookkeeping for a charity is something.
I had a conversation with a younger family member not too long ago about my plans. He asked the typical "why are you going to through your education away" type of question. I know my answer is a good one but it still bothers me that that's a default reaction. My answer was basically that I've used my degree for 12 years and it has paid off very well. I keep telling people that I got my dream job pretty much right out of school. Been there done that, now I'm moving on. (Maybe it wasn't really my dream job since I want to leave or maybe your dream job just changes as you go.)
Thank you for reading about this topic (again) in my borderline non-coherent free typing blogging. I'll keep you all updated.
Friday, June 07, 2013
Just checking in....
Thought I'd just type a "how we are doing" post for those who check in with us through my blog. The past 2+ months have been busy with the kids' activities - baseball, choir, piano for Dylan and finishing preschool for Lydia. The kids are excited for their favorite summer activities - Pine Springs Camp and the church retreat, both coming up in August this year. In two weeks we are going on our family vacation to PA and NY.
For me, things have been strangely normal. In contrast, this time last year I was starting counseling and going to the grief support group. Our loss is not something we are really "dealing" with anymore. Joshua is always a part of us and will be from now on but his loss is not an in-your-face kinda thing anymore.
We still go to the cemetery about once a month - usually the 3rd or 4th weekend but not necessarily the 24th or 25th. The kids still talk about Joshua. Dylan asks questions and Lydia draws pictures of him. (This says a lot about my first two children.) Dylan asked me last week how we know that Joshua is in heaven since he never went to church or was baptized. How he put that together I have no idea. Having battled legalism for most of my Christian walk, I know we were careful not to tell our children that going to church or being baptized gets you into heaven. He came to that on his own and I was quick to remind him that it is Jesus who saves us.
Dylan and Lydia are both really active and talkative these days. Lydia is even starting to open up more and talking while other adults are around (something she wouldn't even think of doing 6 months ago). One of Dylan's friends' mom heard Lydia yelling to Dylan the other day after a baseball game and she said "she talks!" They are playing pretty well together too.
Our big thing now is waiting to see if Martin's company is going to win a new contract for the work that he does. If they don't, he will need to find a new job within the company which is becoming increasingly difficult with the sequestration. We hope to hear soon. Assuming all goes well with Martin's job, I am looking to do something in 3 months I've been thinking about doing for the past 7 years - quit my job. I'll still be doing something (taking classes and/or starting a business so I may not officially qualify as a stay-at-home-mom) but I'm looking forward to being able to manage our home with a more flexible schedule and hopefully get back into shape. I also have grand allusions of doing the kids' baby books and organizing my office but I also know how quickly that "spare" time can fill up. Some people think that I'll get bored if I don't work. I think I'm at a point in my life that I can fill my time with meaningful and satisfying things without a job. I'm not sure I could have done that 7 years ago. I've gained a lot of experience and confidence in those 7 years that I didn't have before. I'm even to the point where I'm not agonizing over telling my boss that I am quitting AS MUCH. :) I just started writing more about this and realized that I have a whole other blog entry worth of stuff to talk about here. So I'll end now and continue on this last thought later.
For me, things have been strangely normal. In contrast, this time last year I was starting counseling and going to the grief support group. Our loss is not something we are really "dealing" with anymore. Joshua is always a part of us and will be from now on but his loss is not an in-your-face kinda thing anymore.
We still go to the cemetery about once a month - usually the 3rd or 4th weekend but not necessarily the 24th or 25th. The kids still talk about Joshua. Dylan asks questions and Lydia draws pictures of him. (This says a lot about my first two children.) Dylan asked me last week how we know that Joshua is in heaven since he never went to church or was baptized. How he put that together I have no idea. Having battled legalism for most of my Christian walk, I know we were careful not to tell our children that going to church or being baptized gets you into heaven. He came to that on his own and I was quick to remind him that it is Jesus who saves us.
Dylan and Lydia are both really active and talkative these days. Lydia is even starting to open up more and talking while other adults are around (something she wouldn't even think of doing 6 months ago). One of Dylan's friends' mom heard Lydia yelling to Dylan the other day after a baseball game and she said "she talks!" They are playing pretty well together too.
Our big thing now is waiting to see if Martin's company is going to win a new contract for the work that he does. If they don't, he will need to find a new job within the company which is becoming increasingly difficult with the sequestration. We hope to hear soon. Assuming all goes well with Martin's job, I am looking to do something in 3 months I've been thinking about doing for the past 7 years - quit my job. I'll still be doing something (taking classes and/or starting a business so I may not officially qualify as a stay-at-home-mom) but I'm looking forward to being able to manage our home with a more flexible schedule and hopefully get back into shape. I also have grand allusions of doing the kids' baby books and organizing my office but I also know how quickly that "spare" time can fill up. Some people think that I'll get bored if I don't work. I think I'm at a point in my life that I can fill my time with meaningful and satisfying things without a job. I'm not sure I could have done that 7 years ago. I've gained a lot of experience and confidence in those 7 years that I didn't have before. I'm even to the point where I'm not agonizing over telling my boss that I am quitting AS MUCH. :) I just started writing more about this and realized that I have a whole other blog entry worth of stuff to talk about here. So I'll end now and continue on this last thought later.
Sunday, March 31, 2013
Death following me
On December 1st, I ended my post with a list of people who had died or were given a terminal prognosis. Since then, a very dear friend's 21-year-old nephew died suddenly, a co-worker's 30-year-old nephew died suddenly, the mother of some friends from camp died, and my baby cousin with the terminal prognosis died. Then my 42-year old brother-in-law died suddenly. I had started to think that death was following me in December and by February I was almost paranoid. I started calculating the major deaths in our family and how they occurred about every 7-8 months (my grandfather May 2008, Martin's grandmother December 2008, (skip), Martin's uncle June 2010, my grandmother March 2011, Joshua November 2011, my other grandmother July 2012, and Martin's brother February 2013. My friends from my bible study encouraged me not to think like that and prayed for me. Maybe I was just noticing death more since I had been through grief (or maybe this is just a consequence of getting older except these weren't old people who were dying!). Yet I still felt like I was around death more than others. And I was a little wary of what's or who's next.
This Easter, the words of one song really stuck with me - "Resurrection Hymn (See What a Morning)" - where it says "death is dead." Death is dead. It can't come after me. It can't follow me. It's dead. Christ conquered death on the cross and overcame it with His resurrection. It is Jesus who is alive and who is following/pursuing me. And He is good and has my best interests in mind.
Of course I will see more death in this life unless Christ returns soon. But it's not because there is some evil, uninhibited, unyielding force of death smiting out people who know Heather Etner. Nothing happens that is not controlled by Jesus. I don't have to look over my shoulder or try to outrun death. Death is dead. Boo-yah. Happy Easter.
This Easter, the words of one song really stuck with me - "Resurrection Hymn (See What a Morning)" - where it says "death is dead." Death is dead. It can't come after me. It can't follow me. It's dead. Christ conquered death on the cross and overcame it with His resurrection. It is Jesus who is alive and who is following/pursuing me. And He is good and has my best interests in mind.
Of course I will see more death in this life unless Christ returns soon. But it's not because there is some evil, uninhibited, unyielding force of death smiting out people who know Heather Etner. Nothing happens that is not controlled by Jesus. I don't have to look over my shoulder or try to outrun death. Death is dead. Boo-yah. Happy Easter.
Saturday, March 23, 2013
Lydia's first haircut
I started talking about cutting Lydia's hair after her 3rd birthday. A year later we still hadn't cut it but the tangles were getting unmanageable. Lydia said she wanted to get it cut. I knew I wanted to donate her hair so in February I called to make an appointment at the place I had donated my hair 6 years ago right after Dylan was born. It was a month before they had an open Saturday appointment. Perfect, a month to prepare. Well, I still cried at the first snip of the scissors. Lydia donated 12 inches of hair to Locks of Love. Here are the pictures from the big event.
The night before.
The shampoo.
Look at that length.
The first snip.
Holding her ponytails.
Super Cute!
She loves the new do.
Wednesday, January 02, 2013
Lydia Update
Lydia turned four today. There's not too much difference between her and Dylan developmentally now. Lots of differences in personality. I love being around people who don't know Lydia that well and having them tell me what she seems like to them. That happened this fall when I visited my long time friend and mentor Lisa in Pittsburgh. After observing Lydia play at a playground for a while (Dylan wasn't there), she said Lydia is tenacious, balanced, persistent, and determined. I realized quickly that Lisa was totally right (as she is about most things). Lydia doesn't give up easily and while she is willing to take risks, she thinks about the risk first. Lydia also has a great sense of object permanence and knows where things are around the house (more than her father I must say). She lost a stuffed animal at Sears this year and she still asks about it and whether or not the store is going to call us when they find the stuffed animal. Lydia loves to be held, which I love. She still sucks her thumb. We talk about trying to give it up but not taking any real action yet. Lydia loves to be read to. Her Sunday school teachers pointed that out to me before I noticed but she is always asking for us to read to her. She has a few books memorized (like her Clifford book). Highlights for the past year - taking a dance class (Jan - Mar), starting preschool two days a week (in September), giving up her naps (in August), riding a two-wheeler with training wheels (in September), and taking swimming lessons (in December). We still haven't cut her hair. At her doctor's appointment on Thursday we found out she gained 4 lbs (35lbs, 50th percentile) and grew 3 inches (38 inches, 10th percentile) this year. She is very verbal at home but often gets shy around other adults. We are working on saying good morning to her teachers when she goes to school. A few weeks this fall she went through a really shy spell where she wouldn't even let anyone look at her, but I think she's back to just not talking now. She's given up the "no me's" from last year but she often says "ooowhl but" when we ask her to something she doesn't want to do.
Lydia has been a real trooper hanging out with me when I have to volunteer at Dylan's school. We greet the kids as they come to school on Tuesday mornings and then we help in the library and with carpool on Tuesday afternoons. Usually there is a class in the library while we are in there checking books in so she has be really quiet and she does great with that.
We don't get as much Mommy and Me time as we did earlier in the year before preschool started but we go for walks or to the library to read books while Dylan is at gymnastics. And Lydia is still the best helper at the grocery store. She like to help in the kitchen too. On her birthday we did some baking and she really enjoyed that.
Lydia is really my buddy and my cuddler. I love kissing her cheeks. She is very sweet and says thank you without be prompted and sorry when she bumps into you. Lydia is also very funny. Sometimes without knowing it. Many times during the day she will just make these random statements that are so funny. Like "my pajamas have a button but Dylan's don't" when she not even wearing pajamas. So that's what you think about huh Lydia. Lots of times the things she says aren't really funny in themselves but she's got great delivery. I really enjoy being around her and look forward to how she is going to grow in the coming year.
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