Trying to get all the May pictures up before July is here...

Dylan saw me writing on the calendar we have hanging on our wall and wanted to "write on the wall" too. Thankfully I had hung one of his drawings up there too. He did go off the paper but we are painting the whole place before we move so it wasn't a big deal.

Here we are at the Nationals game. I bought Martin tickets for his birthday but the game wasn't until May 17th. Phillies won so Martin was happy.

Here's Dylan at his friend Anna's 3rd birthday. This was the best picture I got unfortunately. We had a great time at the party and really hung out there the whole day. Thanks Anna (and Jessie and Bob!).

Cooking eggs

33

So I guess I'm really "in my 30s" now. No denying it. As of today I'm also behind on my goal of being in 1 state for every year of my life. Unless you count being in an airport in TX for a few hours, but I don't. I don't have any states that I could easily pick up either. Here are the ones I have left: HI, OR, AZ, UT, ID, NM, TX, MS, AR, KS, NE, IO, MO, ND, OK, CO, NV. I'd like to do a trip to the Grand Canyon when the kids are older so that will knock out a bunch. And then HI for my 50th birthday. North Dakota is going to be the hard one.

Anyway, I'm having a good birthday. Lots of really sweet well wishes, getting to take my time in the shower, going out to lunch, shopping, pool, and ice cream cake! (Also mixed in with laundry, waiting for the plumber to come, and packing but hey, that's not so bad.)

Two ohf 'em!

Dylan likes to say "two ohf 'em" (two of them) whenever he sees multiple things, usually big diggers on the beltway. He also says that about Lydia and him when I'm holding both of them. Here are two pictures of the two ohf 'em taken at the new house.

New House

There are more pictures of the house on the Internet. Email me and I'll give you the address to Goggle. I tried to take some pictures of the yard and the family room which weren't on the web. These are the best I got. You can also see Dylan's new hiding place in the kitchen (note to self, get locks for those cabinets) and the kids and Martin and his mom in the living room.

Doing Stickers with Grandma

As you can see this was a multi-day activity. Grandma to Ocean City for a conference and stopped by on her way to the conference. We took her out to dinner for her birthday and showed her the new house too.

Mother's Day

Before Father's Day rolls around, here are the pictures from my first multi-child Mother's Day. Martin cooked me and my friend Patricia (whose husband is away at military training) lunch, complete with smooties for dessert, and brought us flowers. It was a surprise for me. Dylan and Lydia bought me a pineapple slicer and a gift card to LLBean. We had a great time hanging out together with Patricia and Richie.

Lydia and Grandma

Post-haircut computer pictures

Lydia's Toys

Dylan likes to bring Lydia all her toys when I ask him to give her A toy. He doesn't seem to remember that half of them were his.

Working Lunch

Links to more pictures

Museum (4/17) and Zoo (5/2)

Dylan and Lydia just hanging out, April and May

Trip to NC over Memorial Day

Trip to PA two weeks later

Lydia Laughing

Lydia was laughing at us all making barking noises. I managed to get some of her laugh on camera before it was too late and before I ran out of memory.

Getting lazy, or just busy...

Since I'm behind on posting pictures, instead of picking out the best ones for the blog, I'm just going to get you the link to the pictures I uploaded to Picasa. Enjoy!

Cherry Blossoms 2009

Hiking with Daddy for his Birthday - Note the pictures with Dylan wearing sunglasses; he wanted to be like Mommy and Daddy.

Easter - including a ride on the Easter train with Grandma and Grandpap and a visit with Brenna.

Uncle Matt and Savva's visit

Finally, some pictures

Here are the pictures that I promised in a previous post:

Dylan's language development

Since I last wrote a "Dylan update," Dylan has been talking in full sentences more and more. Some of our favorites are:
"Look at me!"
"I did it!"
and "Mommy, you need a burp cloth."

Our least favorites are:
"I don't want my shoes on."
and "I don't like it."

He says a lot of almost full sentences too like "I going in silver car." And some full sentences with incorrect grammar like "I take off my shoes off."

I'm surprised that Dylan has learned pronouns so quickly. I say "you" and he understands to respond with "I" at least 50 percent of the time which I think is great for his age. (Although he still refers to almost everyone as "she" even though he may be talking about a boy or man.) But he isn't getting the use of "not" as quickly. When we are getting ready to leave say the playground he says "I don't want to go playground." Maybe he means he doesn't want to "go from" or leave the playground.

Dylan has also starting audibly praying with us at the dinner table. He says "thank you God" and sometimes lists what he's eating. He also sings the "God our Father" song/prayer that he learned in Sunday School with us.

It's so fun seeing him learn a new word. He was riding on a toy with a friend and he yelled "toget-der."

And I think he is finally learning to say "Please" and "Thank you" without us asking him to say it first. Yeah!

I feel like I'm planning a wedding...

Moving is not for the unorganized, I tell you that. Thankfully work has been slow so I've been able to knock out some of my to do list there. Here's a taste of what's on my plate....getting quotes from movers (one actually said they'd have to come out to the house to give me an estimate), getting all the paperwork needed for our mortgage application (which requires me to remember way too many passwords at once since all the documentation they need is now electronic), shopping for the new place, and shopping for things needed to fix up our old place. As I said, it feels like wedding planning all over again. Some of it's fun but some is a pain. We close on June 26th and we are looking to move July 2nd or 3rd. I'm taking that week off from work. Prayers and help are appreciated! :)

504

In all the excitement, I miss celebrating my 500th post, so I will have to commemorate number 504. It's been 3 and a half years since starting my blog. Oh blog, the fun we have had.... I'm thankful that you have helped me keep in touch with so many friends. And you've helped me jot down all those cute, fun, and memorable kids that my kids do so that in the event I ever get around to doing their baby books, I will have most of what I need. :) Here's to you Sweet November and to another 500, er 504, posts!

A very very very fine house.....

Our offer was just accepted on this house in Vienna! Yeah!!!!

Nursing: Nuisance or Necessity....or it is the answer more Nuanced?

(Aren't you proud of my catchy title?)


I've recently seen lots of chatter on the mommy blogs and such and I've had some personal conversations on this article from the April Atlantic Monthly. The author refutes the common belief that breastfeeding is sooo much better for your baby and claims that women who do not breastfeed are being oppressed. Since I consider myself to be a breast-feeding advocate, you might be surprised to know that I did agree, to a degree, with her general point. But I found myself wanting to discuss the topic more so I'm blogging about it.


We would all say that any mother wants the best for her baby, but we cannot possibly give, nor would we want to give, our child the absolute "best" in everything. It's physically, emotionally, spiritually, and relationally impossible. We have other children, a husband, a home, friends, jobs, other family that need our resources and attention too. Granted, giving our attention to these other things often benefits the baby as well but the point I'm trying to make is that there at least exists some things we have to do that prevent us from being the child's all in all and making his or her life perfect. At the risk of reducing motherhood to an economic exercise, I must say that mothers do a cost-benefit analysis for many things, including breastfeeding.

My thinking up until reading the article was that yes, there are definitely circumstances where a mother cannot breastfeed and I was fine with that. I would never judge someone (or even worse, say something to a woman on the street) simply because she wasn't breastfeeding because I didn't know her story. Maybe she couldn't for a good reason or maybe the cost-benefit analysis came up really heavy on the cost side. But I guess I thought and still continue to think to some degree, that the costs do have to be pretty heavy to not breastfeed. The article, convincingly, I think, states that the health benefits to breastfeeding are more marginal than we think. Thus, the benefits side of the cost benefit analysis is lower so I guess I'm coming around to thinking that the cost side wouldn't have to be as high to warrant someone to make the decision not to breastfeed. But it is hard to give up the thinking that (almost) every mother should breastfeed. I think the author is somewhat conflicted herself since she has continued to breastfeed even though she calls it stressful and alienating.


I also have feelings of personal accomplishment that my son and so far my daughter have never had to drink a drop of formula despite some common nursing obstacles. And I admire women who have stuck it out through more difficult circumstances than mine. So in a world where motherhood lacks many things that the society as a whole considers admirable, I guess I'm having a hard time saying these accomplishments are not so great after all. Sure, we can still say the fortitude was admirable, but if you work really hard for something that wasn't that worth-while, you are still seen as being a fool. Okay, so maybe that's going a little too far but I admit, I'm still having a hard time conceding that the nursing accomplishments are anything less than heroic, but I guess that's my own pride.


Speaking of which, here is my stockpile that I had built up before I went back to work. I had almost, but not quite, a gallon of milk frozen at the time and I think I still have about that much. I've been able to replace what I've used.

The author of the article mocked this type of showing off along with discussions about how much milk one could pump at a sitting. I think it's fun actually. The author mocked a lot of things like saying that a benefit of breastfeeding is better smelling poop. While these things didn't significantly move my decision toward breastfeeding, I do consider them added bonuses.

Where I more strongly diverge from her opinion is when she talks about how breastfeeding is a painstaking chore. In her experience and in the experiences of a lot of women that she spoke to, breastfeeding seemed much more like an obligation than what has been my experience and the experience of a lot of women I talk to. I think breastfeeding is actually EASIER and more convenient. That and the fact that it's cheaper are the main reasons that I breastfeed so I'm not moved so much by the article's agruments that the health benefits aren't as promenient as we are lead to believe. Even if it was shown that formula was marginally better for your baby, I would probably still breastfeed because of the convenience and cost.

The author takes issue with a few of these reasons so I'm going to take issue with her counter-arguments. She claims that breastfeed is not convenient because it causes a mother to basically be stuck at home or be banished out of the room so she can breastfeed. Although I must admit I did feel like I was stuck at home a few times when Dylan was little, it never got the point where I felt it was oppressive. And even if I had, Dylan grew out of that phase quickly and I also adapted so I could still go out and do things. Lots of times if I needed to be "banished" from a room, I would either enjoy the quiet time or take a female friend with me to talk while I'm nursing. I can see where another woman might have more issues with having to "leave the party" but I don't think that's the case for all women which was the argument the author was making. It may be an issue for some women but don't list it as a negative for breastfeeding in all cases. The author complained about breastfeeding advocates listing positives that didn't seem to apply to her so she should take her own advice and realize that a women's personality plays deeply into whether this aspect of breastfeeding is a positive or a negative. A more objective measure of convenience is the time it takes to prepare the milk versus formula. Breastfeeding clear wins there since you don't have to warm it up and you don't have to worry about forgetting to pack it (and all the stuff like bottles and water and cold packs) to take it along with you. That is a lot less hassle than finding a private place to nurse.

She also cites a fairness issue because the father can't feed and console the baby so most of the baby care is left to the women. This one really annoys me. You can't blame breastfeeding if men aren't fulfilling their responsibilities of parenthood! If the mother is overwhelmed with baby care and is feeling consternation toward her husband for not doing more then that's a problem that needs to be worked out but one that should be independent of the choice to breastfeed or not.

Then lastly, cost. The numbers depend on a lot of things and are probably exaggerated by some but I think a safe bet is about $1000-1200 for the first year. If the mother doesn't work, it's a pretty clear analysis. I would put up with quite a bit of "cost" to get the "benefit" of an extra $1200. With working moms, it's a lot more complicated. But the article's analysis is flawed. She takes into consideration ALL the time that one would spend breastfeeding and compares that to the concept of breastfeeding being "free." As if if the woman were formula feeding she would spend NO time feeding her child. Of course a woman's time is not worth "nothing" but a mother doesn't get paid for feeding her child whether she breastfeeds or formula feeds. A better analysis would be to compare the EXTRA time (other than actual feeding) that it takes to breastfeed a child verses formula feeding. When you're not working outside the home, there is no extra cost but there is with formula. When you are working and breastfeeding you have to take into consideration the time you are pumping when you would be working and earning money instead (which depends on your salary too). And it's not just the pumping but the cleaning the pump and freezing the milk and getting bottles ready,etc. But with formula feeding you have to consider the time it takes to measure the formula, get the bottles ready, and shop for the formula, etc. I actually just ran the numbers and with my salary and my reduced hours for breastfeeding (I only work 7 hours a day so I can still be in the office from 9-5 and have time to pump while I'm there) it's actually costing me more money to breastfeed. But, that's because I made the choice to work less. I imagine that most working breastfeeding moms still work the same number of hours so the sacrifice is time with their families instead of actual dollars (or they are claiming work hours when they are really pumping). If money were really the issue for us, I would probably work more and still breastfeed to save the money. Nonetheless, after writing this it seems like the cost is not so much an issue for me than I thought. But it would still irk me to pay money for something I can produce myself. And if I wasn't working it would save a lot of money.

So I guess that after reading the article and doing my analysis I'm not going to be as quick to judge a mom who choses not to breastfeed. I will still love breastfeeding and will still encourage it as much as the analysis warrants, meaning as so far as it makes sense for a particular woman given the costs and benefits that pertain to her in the analysis above (which don't worry Mom, probably includes most of your WIC clients). Even though I want it to be the best for every women I realize it is not. And I realize that it's not the best for a larger number of women than I previously thought. QED :)