We'll we made it to full term with the pregnancy. In an otherwise tough week I had ten friends take me out on Sunday to celebrate and honor our baby's life. I felt really honored and blessed. I also received a note yesterday from my great aunt in CA. She's someone I haven't seen in 18 years but she took the time to write me and tell me that she is praying for me.
We heard the baby's heartbeat again at the appointment on Tuesday. I've been feeling some movement higher up and was hopeful that she may have turned. They didn't do an ultrasound on Tuesday so we didn't find out if she did. The doctor said from what he could tell from examining me that she had not but he really couldn't say for sure. He said it was unlikely that she would. So we continued to discuss c-section. All the doctors in the practice discussed my case at their Tuesday morning meeting and the doctor that I saw yesterday conveyed to us that the consensus was that since we had gotten this far in the pregnancy, it would be best to minimize the stress on the baby from labor and do a c-section. We agree so assuming she is still breech when I go into labor, I'll be having a c-section. Apparently there is about a 20-30 minute window after the c-section where I wouldn't be able to hold her but she would be in the room and the doctor seemed to think that it would be more likely that I'd have more time with her if I have c-section which would be less stress on her than if I were not to have c-section even given that time window. Obviously there are no assurances and the only information we have to base decisions on is mushy so we need to be leaning on the wisdom, peace, and love of Christ that surpasses all knowledge and understanding.
We got a little bit of certainty in that the doctor asked us to schedule a c-section for 39 weeks (December 7th) in case I have not gone into labor at that time. So that tail of the uncertainty distribution has been cut short at least (my econ and math geek friends will understand how thinking about it in those terms is somewhat of a relief for me).
Martin and I both told our bosses this week and they were supportive. The hard part was asking questions to the HR reps who we don't know for answers to our questions about our very unique circumstances. We think that we will be able to make a claim for a life insurance policy through Martin's work to cover the funeral expenses. We were not able to add any coverage through my work. It's a really difficult time of year to be dealing with this sort of thing too (holidays with people out of the office, open seasons for benefits that confuse matters and have us making other benefit decisions at the same time, etc.).
We also met with the funeral home nearest our home on Tuesday. It was actually a huge relief to talk to them. Apparently the cost of an infant funeral is about a fourth of the cost of an adult funeral. The lady we were working with there also helped us call the cemetaries (something I was dreading doing). We are going to try to get as much planned ahead of time since it looks likely that I'll be in the hospital longer because of the c-section.
Thinking about what's going to happen in the next three weeks in pretty overwhelming. I plan on being in the office next week for 2-3 days and then working from home until the baby is delivered. Going to try to decorate the house for Christmas this Friday and get some pictures taken this weekend to try to make sure our Christmas celebration doesn’t get lost in the shuffle. Shopping and wrapping is probably not going to happen this year except for the kids but I'm guessing our families won't be offended by gift cards this year. Martin, my mom, and I will be cooking Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow for 8 - in addition to my parents, my brother and my friend Amy are coming! It's nice not to have to travel.
Even in these circumstances, we are counting our blessings at this Thanksgiving because there are many. In some cases it's because of these circumstances that we have more blessings. We are thankful for our baby's life and the peace we have from God that her life is purposeful and that He will work all things for our good and His Glory. We are thankful for the comfort God has provided through His Word, our friends and family, and our children during this time. And we are thankful for the rich abundance of relationships and provisions that God given us.
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