Thought I'd just type a "how we are doing" post for those who check in with us through my blog. The past 2+ months have been busy with the kids' activities - baseball, choir, piano for Dylan and finishing preschool for Lydia. The kids are excited for their favorite summer activities - Pine Springs Camp and the church retreat, both coming up in August this year. In two weeks we are going on our family vacation to PA and NY.
For me, things have been strangely normal. In contrast, this time last year I was starting counseling and going to the grief support group. Our loss is not something we are really "dealing" with anymore. Joshua is always a part of us and will be from now on but his loss is not an in-your-face kinda thing anymore.
We still go to the cemetery about once a month - usually the 3rd or 4th weekend but not necessarily the 24th or 25th. The kids still talk about Joshua. Dylan asks questions and Lydia draws pictures of him. (This says a lot about my first two children.) Dylan asked me last week how we know that Joshua is in heaven since he never went to church or was baptized. How he put that together I have no idea. Having battled legalism for most of my Christian walk, I know we were careful not to tell our children that going to church or being baptized gets you into heaven. He came to that on his own and I was quick to remind him that it is Jesus who saves us.
Dylan and Lydia are both really active and talkative these days. Lydia is even starting to open up more and talking while other adults are around (something she wouldn't even think of doing 6 months ago). One of Dylan's friends' mom heard Lydia yelling to Dylan the other day after a baseball game and she said "she talks!" They are playing pretty well together too.
Our big thing now is waiting to see if Martin's company is going to win a new contract for the work that he does. If they don't, he will need to find a new job within the company which is becoming increasingly difficult with the sequestration. We hope to hear soon. Assuming all goes well with Martin's job, I am looking to do something in 3 months I've been thinking about doing for the past 7 years - quit my job. I'll still be doing something (taking classes and/or starting a business so I may not officially qualify as a stay-at-home-mom) but I'm looking forward to being able to manage our home with a more flexible schedule and hopefully get back into shape. I also have grand allusions of doing the kids' baby books and organizing my office but I also know how quickly that "spare" time can fill up. Some people think that I'll get bored if I don't work. I think I'm at a point in my life that I can fill my time with meaningful and satisfying things without a job. I'm not sure I could have done that 7 years ago. I've gained a lot of experience and confidence in those 7 years that I didn't have before. I'm even to the point where I'm not agonizing over telling my boss that I am quitting AS MUCH. :) I just started writing more about this and realized that I have a whole other blog entry worth of stuff to talk about here. So I'll end now and continue on this last thought later.
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