New Ambitions Part II

Well, Martin's contract was renewed!  He was finding out as I typed my blog entry on Friday.  I'm still giving him time to celebrate before making the final decision on my job plans.

Those of you who have been with my blog from the beginning know that I started out talking about career and ambition.  (I originally titled this post New Ambition, not even remembering that I had "New Ambitions" from 2005, so I renamed this one New Ambitions Part II.)  I think part of my struggle with quitting my current job (even though I want to) has been that I didn't want to be told I had no ambition.  I know there would be certain people, particularly co-workers from my current and previous jobs, who would say I was giving up a good career.  Oh, she had so much potential if she just would have stuck with it.  Especially, with so many people retiring from the government in the next 5 years.

I'm starting to see the narrow-sightedness of these statements.  First, why was I letting these people define my goals and ambitions for me.  Second, if in fact that's what they would say (considering I am putting words in their mouths) would they even be right?  I've now been around long enough to see so many folks plateau in their careers for years.  And I'm pretty sure that's even the normal scheme of things for 35-50 year-olds.  Third, even if I was promoted, I'd have to work more hours which I know I don't want to do.  Period.  Which takes me back to reason 1).   

Just because I've been on a certain career path for 12 years does not mean that I have to continue on that path.  Many highly successful jump around a lot and do completely different things on their career path.  Granted my jump is somewhat of a step back (less pay, doing something requiring less skill, fewer hours), but if I'm just going to plateau anyway, why not spend those years doing something I enjoy and that will let me be with my family more.  

About a year ago, a dear friend was bragging about me to a couple other women as we all sat in her kitchen.  She told the other women what I planned to do (which included eventually quitting my job) and then said (tongue in cheek) "I don't have over-achieving friends or anything..."  She definitely thought I was being ambitious even though I wasn't continuing up in my field.  What she said reinforced to me that the things I am thinking about doing are highly ambitious (!light bulb!) - taking classes, starting a business, advocating for a culture where part-time work is more accepted, helping those less fortunate through direct financial counseling.  Not to mention my family obligations and pursuits.  So success for me would be doing these things well and who cares if others think I am not ambitious and have a terrible work ethic (btw, when did those two things become the same in my mind....uhhh...) because they are looking at success very narrowly.

I'm sure you can tell through my writing that I'm still trying to convince myself of these things but I can tell you that I know I feeling more confident about it than I did 2 years ago.  Maybe part of that has to do with the fact that it's an easier time to quit since work isn't as busy as it was, but too I'm seeing more opportunities and getting more excited about my dreams outside of my government job.  Plus, with age, I have more feelings of "do it now or you never will and you don't want to miss your chance."

I guess the risk is getting back in if I want.  And I actually want to.  My long-term plan is to get a government job at the end my career to get the benefits (assuming Congress hasn't striped every last one of them away by then).  How long can I be gone and still get back in?  What kind of experience will I need to do in the meantime to allow me get back in as a GS-15?  I half joke that since I had experience from this most recent financial crisis, then I'll be valuable for when the next crisis comes around 15-20 years from now.  I think the important thing is just to do something.  So running a business or doing bookkeeping for a charity is something.     

I had a conversation with a younger family member not too long ago about my plans.  He asked the typical "why are you going to through your education away" type of question.  I know my answer is a good one but it still bothers me that that's a default reaction.  My answer was basically that I've used my degree for 12 years and it has paid off very well.  I keep telling people that I got my dream job pretty much right out of school.  Been there done that, now I'm moving on.  (Maybe it wasn't really my dream job since I want to leave or maybe your dream job just changes as you go.)

Thank you for reading about this topic (again) in my borderline non-coherent free typing blogging.  I'll keep you all updated.