Some friends sent us these beautiful flowers last Saturday. We got a couple cards. But not many people remember after the 1 year anniversary. I don't blame them. I don't remember the anniversaries of my friends' loved one's deaths. It's just extra special when someone does remember. On Joshua's birthday we went out to lunch with a few friends at the same place we went last year and then went to the cemetery with them for a short time. We sprinkled rose petals (from my anniversary roses that were dying) on Joshua's grave. Lydia did actually and she did it like she was flower girl in a wedding. It was COLD as usual at the cemetery so we didn't stay long. The next day we went to see the lights at Meadowlark Gardens like we did last year.
My struggle this year was keeping up the traditions. Last year, I wanted to a few things for Joshua's birthday that we could do every year as a tradition because traditions are an important tool for remembering, especially for the kids and it helps not having to think of something to do on each anniversary. Because if you don't do something to remember the person you've lost, you feel guilty. Human nature. The Meadowlark Garden things is kinda expensive and doesn't change from year to year and it was cold so I really didn't want to go. I compromised and went on Monday the 25th (when it was cheaper) instead of on Joshua's birthday. But I'm not sure if we'll continue to do it because it feels like we're doing it only because we said we would. But maybe that's still a good reason for some traditions. Going to that Peruvian chicken place will be out next year though. I just chose that place because I didn't want to have to plan where to go. Plus there's apparently a much better Peruvian chicken place right down the street. We'll still go to the cemetery of course and take something special. Maybe balloons next year. You want to do something but everything you can think of doing seems trivial. So I guess you just keep on doing it.
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