If you've been with me from the beginning, you know that I started this blog around Martin's and my first anniversary when I was musing on marriage and future plans (i.e., kids) and career. Oh how the more things change, the more they stay the same....
My situation has changed lots in the past two years. I'm no longer a newlywed (and I think at this point I also have to give up the new mom title), I'm married with child, working part time as opposed to newly married living the DINK life. Yet, I'm still thinking about "what's next....kids...timing...career..." I guess one never stops thinking of those things. Even if Martin and I buy a house and I end up staying home in the next few years I'll probably be obsessed with wondering when I should go back to work. Why do we do this to ourselves? (I know from many conversations with other 30-somethings (and also some 20-somethings...yes, you Lisa!) that I'm not the only one.
In my second posting on this blog, I talked about a co-worker who helped me realize my lack of ambition, at least compared to him. This same co-worker asked me last week how long I was going to keep working. How did he know I plan on quitting eventually? I guess I did with my response. I said Martin and I want to have more kids and we'll see how that goes and blah blah blah...I wish I would have had a good, witty, stay out of my business response, but I didn't think of one. Anyway, all that to say, even if I wanted to stop thinking about all this I got this co-worker who keeps pressing me on my "plans." As if I don't think about it enough.
Today as I look back on three years of married life and think about the future, I'm reminded again how much I need to rest in the present and the presence of God who is in control of all - past, present, and future. He brings forgiveness for my past, contentment in my present, and hope for my future. Thinking in this framework when the "what's next?" questions arise allows me to take a deep breath and have peace. You can only plan for the future so far (yes, save for retirement but do we really need to plan out every step before that and book your travel for your retirement trips...no). Over the weekend I heard a friend quote someone who's name I forget "if you want to make God laugh, make plans." This is countercultural and very much a foreign idea to my (seemingly control-freak) co-worker. Yes, I want to be smart about the future, but I don't want to waste my time making plans that will be moot in a few months anyway, as was the case in my second posting thinking that I wouldn't be able to stay in my job part time. So, keep reading maybe I'll get better about this by the time our 30th anniversary rolls around.
1 comment:
I think the correct response to the question "How long are you going to keep working?" is "As long as I want to..." with a big smile at the end.
I know - so much easier to think up witty responses after the fact :).
Congrats on your 3 year anniversary! Laura H.
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